Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Leave Silda Spitzer alone!

I know I already posted today, but this really bugs me. Why are we so quick to judge other women's actions? Particularly when she was not the one who did anything wrong!

She has a decision to make. A very difficult decision to make. A life-changing decision.

I've been through divorce. Prior to that, I left my husband and came back a few times. It's really, really hard.

What's to say that, had she not stood up with her husband today, there would've been a whole group of women, saying how dare she not stand by his side during this time?

And really, what business is it of ours? Not what he did, but how she handles it. Her business is her own.

I wouldn't be surprised, frankly, if a few months from now, there's a little blurb about her filing the petition for divorce (or, as the laws state here in CA, the dissolution). But, really, it's her decision to make.

And, let's not forget, the media loves to watch (or create) a good cat fight. They love to see us tear each other apart for working or not working, breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, voting for the female or the African-American...

I think it's important for us to use our voices, yes, and not be silenced. I think it's important for us to explore why we make the decisions we make. But I think we should be in a place by now where we can respect and learn from each other's different decisions rather than just make judgments on them.

And there's my two cents on the subject.


Anonymous said...

April, without a doubt you post my favorite rants. You always seem to pick a subject that will be close to my heart.

I could not agree with you more. Why on earth is it any of our business if a woman chooses to stay with her husband or leave him. Her choice is her own and not for the media or the public to decide.

KG said...

Remember poor Hillary back before she was a presidential candidate? Whatever you think of her policies, she was DAMNED in the media for staying with Bill . . . but if she'd left she would have been damned too!

MarĂ­a said...

I personally don't get it.
At all. There's no way in hell I'd stand by his side.

Same goes for every politician that does crap like this - I mean, it's phony! She knows she wants to choke him. And I wouldn't pretend I didn't.

Just me though. :)

Kori said...

I actually totally disagree with this one; while I agree that we shouldn't make judgements about her based on this decision, I can't help but think for her to choose to stay with him, she must have a hidden agenda of her own. Perhaps it is financial, perhaps it is for the social status, whatever, but there must be a reason. This is not an instacne of a man getting drunk and having a one night stnad with someone he met at a bar; this is a man who learly more than once took money from his family and used it to fuck whores. That is unforgiveable, to me.

Kori said...

Aargh, since I can't edit my post, I am so sorry for totally misspelling so much! :)

April said...

Kori - I'm sure she does have her reasons. But that's just it, they're her reasons. I wouldn't think any less of you for dumping some guy for the same reason, nor would I think less of you for staying with him.
We're certainly entitled to look at this, and think, gee, what would I have done in her shoes? But to put a judgment on her for doing it her way, that's where my reason for ranting comes in.

Anonymous said...

Seeing her standing there in all the news footage made me examine what I would do - and though I know that it is hard to say now not being in the situation but I have told Ed that the minute he makes the decision to sleep with another woman is the minute he has decided to end our relationship - there is no second chance with me.

I think that by standing next to him she has made herself a target, if she had not been there sure there would have been questions but it would have died out quickly and they could have just said that the (now-ex) governor was making a statement to the public and would like to have his family kept out of the public aspect of it. She made a decision to be visible in this and so made the decision to be a bigger target.

Tara R. said...

Having watched my mom go through the same thing, I swore I never would. I just don't get it, but I would agree that whatever this public person did, his family should be left alone.... PERIOD!

FreedomFirst said...

Thankyou, April! My thoughts exactly. It's ridiculous how society thinks they can dictate people's reactions. Absolutely pathetic. I felt the same way about Hillary during the Clinton sex scandal, even though I detest her. It's no one's business how spouses react to their loved ones' indiscretions. And you can apply that to plenty of other situations as well.

FreedomFirst said...

BTW, in response to Kori's post, I have to agree that I wouldn't have much respect for someone who would stay with a man like that; but at the same time, I still think it's none of my business; and most of all, who says her public reaction has to reflect her true feelings? That is more the point I'm making; she's under no obligation to share her feelings with us.

Jen said...

I agree with you 800%.

Maybe it's not political. Maybe it's about her girls. Maybe she's just doing what she thinks is best.

There was a wonderful op-ed piece in the Times yesterday by Dana McGreevey discussing her own decision.

Unless we're in their bedroom, who are we to judge? Her standing beside him at press conferences doesn't mean she's staying with him forever. And even if she does, that's her business.

OHmommy said...

AMEN April.

You always pick great things to write about. Empowering, you know? Way to go!