New Shopping Rules

 My daughter and I are just about to complete YNAB's 34 Day Reset, and I've been thinking about my shopping habits and what I want to change. 

I've written previously about my quest to buy from women-led companies, and that's still a priority, but so is supporting businesses led by people of color, and companies that are eco-conscious. 

I do have to balance this with my other priorities, like the roof over my head! So there are still Amazon purchases in my past, present and future, but doing this reset reminded me that sometimes, I hit "checkout" a little too soon. So I'm also working on putting more time between the thought and the actual purchase, and when I can afford the time and purchase price, incorporating my values, too. 

While I'm not entirely doing Project 333, the fact that I've gained weight during this pandemic (+ menopause!) means many of my clothes just don't fit anymore. I'm slowly purging the items I know will never fit me again, and boxing up clothes that I would like to wear again someday, but getting them out of my closet for now. 

I'm also thinking about the high cost of clothes. Buying cheap means they're using either slave labor or something close to it, but I don't want to pay high prices for clothes that hopefully will be too big for me if I'm able to achieve my weight loss goals. So for now, I've decided that most of my clothing will be purchased second-hand, which is also good for the environment. I found a second-hand shop that supports women's shelters and is women-owned: triple win!

I also keep a list of businesses led by women* and POC. From now on, I'm only buying new clothing from those companies. Bonus points for women/POC-led companies that are also somehow sustainable. If I'm paying an arm and a leg, I need to feel good about who profits from my purchase. 

I'm also going to start researching B-certified corporations, companies that are legally required by such formation to consider the impact on the environment, their workers, their suppliers and their community. I know that even with the rigorous requirements, that still doesn't make them perfect, but it might be a worthwhile option for other kinds of purchases besides clothes. 

Looking back at my purchases over the 34 Day Reset, there are far fewer! I might've slipped a couple of times, but even then, the drastic decrease of receipts and orders to track was startling. I've never claimed to be a minimalist, but it opened my eyes to how much of a typical American consumer I am. Or have been. It's a work in progress.

*My definition of women includes anyone that identifies themselves as such

I’m a Homeowner!!

Truly, a sentence I didn’t think I’d write.

December 2003, I was moving into a 1-bedroom apartment, where I would sleep on a futon in the living room, starting life over as a single mom with two girls not quite 3 and 6. We furnished the place using hand-me-downs from colleagues and friends, or pulled out from my parents' attic, having been stored there since I left Los Angeles before I'd had either daughter. We were the recipients of my department's Adopt-a-Family program that year (albeit unofficially).

I hadn't graduated college yet. I didn't know where the next decade would take me or the girls. I sometimes doubted my ability to ever feel whole again.

And here I am, a college graduate with a paralegal's certificate. I've been promoted up to a manager title, working for one of the most quintessential household names. Trustee of my own estate plan. And holder of my own deed. And future.

My daughters are finding their own way. I still don't understand when parents grieve their children growing up because I'm finding so much joy in this part. I love watching them grow up and become adults that care about the world and the people in it. I'm so proud of the young women they're becoming.

Sylvia loves her job because she sees it as bringing joy to children. Obviously, there's more to it than that, but she understands the joy as the motivation behind everything she does, so she strives to do it as well as she possibly can. Honestly, what more could a mother want?

Riley loves her job because she helps children. She enjoys school because she loves learning more about the world and figuring out how she can do her part. She delights in making people happy. Her smile always has and always will light up my world.

And now, as I joked to Riley earlier, if I die, I'm leaving you an asset!

I feel prepared for the responsibility now, and grateful that it's a townhouse so there's still an HOA to call for the roof! I have worked so hard at getting my financial life together that even though I've just taken on a whole heap of debt, I know I can manage it. I have visions for the future, but not so clear that there's not room for nice surprises!

I feel proud and empowered and grateful and lucky and pure joy! Today has become a new holiday for me. And I've opened the bottle of wine to celebrate!

Balancing your Personal Financial Responsibility

I thoroughly enjoyed Afford Anything's most recent podcast on what they're calling radical responsibility...though it's not as scary as that may sound.

As long-time readers know, there were certainly extenuating factors that contributed to my negative net worth and increasing debt obligations.

My journey as a single mom began when my girls were not yet 3 and 6 and I had no job, car or home to call my own and bad credit. X was (and is) a drug addict that didn't (and doesn't) pay child support regularly. For reasons not necessary for this blog post, I was not yet a college graduate.

After finding a steady job, I went back to school, but to do so, I had to take out student loans. I don't regret that for a moment, but it didn't exactly help my financial situation. After getting my B.A., I realized I needed to continue my education before I could really see a substantial difference in my pay. Enter more student loans.

To be clear, I am not recommending this or dissuading it. This is just where I was.

Then, one day, after financial ups and downs for most of my adult life, I was done. I no longer cared whose fault it was, I just had to make it better.

I stopped focusing on our circumstances and just worked the problem.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm still a bleeding heart liberal. I totally get that everyone's circumstances are different, and that it may feel like there simply are no choices. 

I am, however, going to offer a different perspective.

Instead of focusing on what I couldn't control, I turned to what I could.

I couldn't count on X giving me child support, but I could re-work my budget to not be dependent upon it - and anytime I did get child support, I would split it between paying off debt and paying for the girls' needs.

I couldn't count on any other sources of income, so I looked to both increase my own while decreasing expenses.

Though many choices felt like choosing between a rock and a hard place, I recognized the choices that we had made. I accepted some, and changed others.

I accepted that I wanted to live in SoCal where the rents are high, but family (and free babysitting) are available. I accepted SoCal rents, but moved when rent got too high.

For a while, we chose to keep cable TV...until we changed our minds. It became a personal challenge to decrease our grocery spending month by month until now, it's a challenge to overspend!

But I think the best thing about taking financial responsibility is how empowered it makes me feel. I mean, I have nowhere near the financial net worth of Paula Pant or Emma Pattee (the ladies on the aforementioned podcast), but I am where I want to be, and I know I am headed in the right direction. Instead of feeling defeated by the problems that arise, I feel like standing taller and saying, "bring it on!" (I mean, not really, but you know what I mean.)

So my X is a deadbeat, so what? He's not worth my anger or tears, either.

When Riley needs something, she's not worried that I'm going to freak out and I am in fact, happy to oblige...because I can!

It doesn't happen overnight, of course. But it does take that moment of deciding that you are up for this challenge. Taking responsibility means that no one else can have it. You get to control your financial destiny. How cool is that? 

Check Your Balances

A few weeks ago, I logged into one of my credit card accounts and came across a fraud alert that a couple of transactions had been flagged. I called, they weren't mine, I was not charged for any charges that weren't mine (and confirmed those that were), they issued me a new card and all was well.

Not two weeks later, I noticed another couple fraudulent charges on another card! Called, confirmed they weren't mine (and which were), and I will not be charged.

This hasn't happened to me in years, so I guess it was just a matter of time before I got hit again, but man! That's twice in like 2-3 weeks! One of them I use really infrequently and had I not just used it, I may not have logged in to check my balance for another few weeks!

The other is the one I use most often, so it's not surprising we caught it so soon.

I'm wondering if the post-holiday season has anything to do with this. I wonder if some people don't check their transactions, dreading what they'll see. It is in your best interest for a number of reasons to always know what's going on with your money.

And it's much better that it happened on my credit cards than a debit card. I probably still wouldn't have been liable, but it would take longer to replace those funds in my account.

Seemed like a good reason to post this PSA: check your balances and review your transactions on a regular basis.

I check mine (and pay my credit cards) fairly habitually.  I check my bank account every day. With my frequently used credit cards, I check them at least once a week. With my less frequent cards, I do this whenever they've been used - I am going to start checking all of them once a week now.

If you are experiencing some post-holiday financial hangover, you don't want to make it worse by finding out too late that you've also been a victim of fraud. Oh, and you might want to change a few passwords while you're at it!

We probably (sadly) will never be able to eliminate this kind of fraud from happening. But we can pay enough attention to our money that it's merely an inconvenience instead of a nightmare.

My Money, My Mouth and all that

I think about world events and politics every day. Sometimes, I wish I didn't. I'm not trying to turn this into a political blog, but I did want to talk about how I'm thinking about my personal finances in connection with my personal politics.

I simply do not have a lot of money to give. I am working on where to spend more time on the issues that matter most to me, but I'm not jumping into anything just yet.

There are a lot of non-profits and PACs that interest me. So what I've decided to do is give to one organization per month. 

I used to let my Giving category in my budget accrue and then give a larger sum when the impulse strikes. But the impulse strikes all the time now!

If there's an event or something that requires a larger amount, I will use funds from another category (theatre tickets, clothing or fun money), but at least 12 different organizations will get at least something from me this year. I'm keeping a running tally now that I've made my January donation.

I also try to shop with companies that may not necessarily share my views, but at least don't support those people/organizations/parties that I oppose. I hesitate to use the word "boycott," because I have no belief or even really a desire to see those places go out of business (most of the time). It's just that I don't want to give them my money. So far, this hasn't been difficult or even inconvenient. I just don't go to some places.

As always, I will continue to work on shaving the budget where I can to make room for more Giving this year, and in the years to come.

I suppose I do have a political message after all: it's your money, it's your voice. Use them.

1st Financial Update of 2017

I decided to check out my Net Worth report for 2016. I was beyond thrilled to discover that it's grown by more than $10,000! That doesn't include my 401k, Betterment account or my student loan debt. I only track my cash accounts in YNAB, which is where I ran the report.


I expect it to decrease significantly this year because part of that is saving for a new car, which will be purchased this year and for our NY vacation. Also, I may be planning another vacation later this year so I'm increasing my cash savings to spend it later.

So I'm totally okay with not seeing that kind of increase for 2017, but I'm still pretty happy about it!

I've changed my mind hundreds of times about what I'll do when my car lease is up, but I think I've made up my mind that I'll buy a new hybrid. I thought about buying used, but I think I'd prefer to spend more now so that I won't have to think about buying a replacement for at least a decade. As much as I love having the fully electric Fiat now, I want the flexibility of a hybrid. I've got a price in mind that I'm fairly sure is doable and while I'll still have to borrow some, I want it paid off in 5 years max, but I hope to do so in 3.

I've already paid for flights and theatre tickets for NY and have enough saved for food and other recreation. I'd like to get in at least one more show while I'm there, but I will see what's available on TodayTix (use referral code FAGSL for $10 off).

Not sure if I've mentioned here, but Sylvia is currently working on a cruise ship. If she does a second contract, Riley and I will probably take a cruise so I'm starting to save for that.

I also really want to get my student loan debt down. While the interest rate is low, the balance barely seems to move and the site currently says I won't pay it off for another 7 years, and I've been paying it for about 10 now! Enough already! I'll make a more concrete goal once I get the car situation under control, but for now, I'm throwing an extra $100/mo towards it.

I'm also starting to save for Riley's senior year. We've been foregoing on pictures, yearbooks, dances, etc. with the understanding that she'll do it all her senior year...which is next school year, OMG. We recently decided that she'll finish out her junior year before she gets a job, since this is the hardest academic year. She knows that means she won't get a driver's license or anything like that until after she starts earning her own money towards it. Her only "job" right now is to start looking for scholarships.

She's picked her dream school. It's not the most expensive, but it's not the cheapest either. We still don't have anything put away for that, but she's prepared to take on most of that responsibility herself. Mostly, that's next year's problem.

So all in all, 2016 was fairly successful, financially speaking!

9 Year Blogiversary - Announcement!

I'm holding a workshop in October on single parent budgeting. This will be in Burbank (L.A. area) on October 5 and I hope you can join me! I loved writing the eBook, but I really want to help people IRL, too!

My 9-year Blogiversary seemed a fitting time to announce this to any readers I have left :)

You can RSVP by emailing me (admccaffery at gmail). In case you can't read the attached, if you want to earn a gold star, please track your spending for about a week before the workshop and bring that with you.

Hope to see you there!

Balancing Wants v Needs - or not

I heard an interesting concept on the HerMoney podcast: that wants may be needs after all. Author Sarah Newcomb makes the argument that what we normally refer to as "wants" are really meeting fundamental needs.

Thinking about this through my own budget lens, my Theatre Tix category comes to mind. Do I need to see Hamilton? I would joke that yes, yes I do, but of course, that's an exaggeration. But thinking about it, planning for it, imagining it when I listen to the cast recording...it fulfills my needs for participation, leisure, creation, identity and freedom.

So maybe, when looking at the categories where you tend to overindulge, ask yourself, "what need(s) does this satisfy? Are there other ways I can create that satisfaction?" And bonus: coming up with new ways to minimize these expenses will also satisfy your fundamental need for creativity!

Some people, for instance, won't listen to cast recordings until after they've seen a show. I prefer to spend $10-20 on a cast recording before I shell out hundreds for tickets to see if it's something that interests me. I tend to meet friends for lunch instead of dinner to save both time and money. Lunches are cheaper than dinners or even drinks sometimes, and it doesn't interfere with my schedule for picking up Riley after work.  I don't subscribe to music services because I have enough in my iTunes and Amazon Prime libraries to keep the music varied without another monthly bill. (Plus, I still listen to Hamilton more than half the time, anyway!)



If this sounds daunting, remember two things:

1) We adapt all the time. Technologically alone, we all try new things on a regular basis. Instead of thinking of this as a sacrifice, think of it as an adaptation.

2) This is an opportunity to get more of what you want: you get your needs met, plus you get to save money for other needs/wants.

And hey, when you come up with solutions and plop down the $$ for that "want", you can honestly say to yourself, "I need this!"

Financial Literacy Month 2016: Balancing a Realistic Budget

Sure, there are plenty of blog posts, articles and books out there that may convince you that you don't need a budget, or that budgets are constricting, or maybe you've tried "anti-budgeting." I can only say that my financial life has improved drastically once I started working with a realistic budget.

So we have to talk about how and when a budget isn't realistic, and therefore, doesn't work.

An unrealistic budget believes that the numbers are set in stone, and if you overspend, you fail.

A realistic budget allows you to change the numbers.

An unrealistic budget assumes that the same amount of money will come in and go out every month.

A realistic budget knows that there's no such thing as a normal month.

An unrealistic budget believes that you can eat Ramen every day, and if you really scrimp and save, life will be wonderful.

A realistic budget has room for fun money most of the time, but if something goes wrong, the sacrifice to that fun money is temporary.


Even before YNAB, I changed my budgeting ways using the method I learned in The Debt-Free Spending Plan. Both are based on the zero-based budgeting concept and both (finally!) gave me a realistic budget.

Sylvia felt the effects the other day when I was getting the car serviced, and the total came close to $400 (we split the costs). Or rather, she felt no effect, because she knew she had double her share in her Auto Maintenance category.

Before you throw in the towel completely on the idea of budgeting, try a realistic (preferably zero-based) budget. It just might change your financial life!

Financial Literacy Month 2016: Why I Rent

The delightful Paula Pant wrote the end-all, be-all post on why renting may be financially prudent, which I can't recommend highly enough, but the overall message bears repeating as often as possible.

Of course, I can only speak about why renting is best for me, but those reasons may resonate.

About a year and a half ago, I got the dreaded notice from our landlord that my rent was increasing by $100 a month. Granted, my rent had not increased at all for years, but $100 is substantial so I started weighing my options.

First, I considered buying. It didn't take too long to discover that there was nothing in my price range in good ol' Los Angeles. But I'm still glad that I went through the process to know that for sure.

I filled out an application with my credit union, and was approved for more than I thought I could reasonably afford. It still wasn't a lot by L.A. standards, but there were a few possibilities for condos (no houses). Very few.

One by one, each of those possibilities stopped looking feasible. They were either in neighborhoods where I didn't want to live or required work or were in developments that were questionable.

It actually wasn't that much of a disappointment to discover that buying wasn't going to happen. The more I thought about it, I knew that I couldn't handle it financially or emotionally.

It would have stretched my budget so dang thin, I'm not even sure we would have been able to keep Netflix! Even though I'm still not at Warren's recommended 50%, this would have put our living expenses at well over 70% of my income.

Living that close to the financial edge would not have been good for my state of mind. Not sure how much sleep I would have lost, worrying about my job stability, trying to find extra income, never having lunch with a friend, dreading holidays and birthdays...I've been there, done that. I don't want to go back.

Things might possibly have been different if we lived somewhere else, but I don't want to live somewhere else. My job is here, my friends and family are here, our lives are here.

We did end up moving, finding a place we like even better for the rent I was paying prior to the increase. I had the funds to handle the moving costs, and even buying a washer and dryer.

Just the other day, Sylvia was telling me that she's glad we moved and she likes our current place so much better than the last. So do I.

Americans are far too wonderfully varied to have just one American dream. Some things to consider before buying into the home-ownership aspect:

1. Down payment +: Don't just have the amount required for your loan. You will also need more set aside for closing fees, moving expenses, and the unexpected repairs/necessities you don't discover until the keys are yours. 
2. Plus...: Do you plan on buying new furniture for the new place? Do you need appliances? Will you still have enough in your emergency savings if your car needs new brakes the same week you move? Will you still have at least a few months' worth of income if you get unexpectedly laid off the next week? 
3. Stability: If you're married, what if your spouse gets offered a new job with ten times the income the following month? If you're divorced and the other parent is still a part of your child/ren's lives, what if your ex moves across country? Are you prepared to stay in the house for at least five years?
4. Peace of Mind: I know, everyone wants to dream about the possibility of saying "all mine" when it comes to home ownership. But how will you feel if the roof is leaking? If your mailperson slips on your front walk? When your debt is six figures? When the property taxes are all yours? 

The farther we get from the financial crisis, the more people start to use the phrase "throwing money away on rent."

I don't think of it like that at all. Every month, I pay for the privilege of the roof over my family. Just like someone with a mortgage does. I also get to call the landlord if my HVAC stops working. I get to explore the possibilities again if I don't like my rent increase. 

Of course, this is not to say that no one should own a home, but like most things in life, it is not for everyone. And it's certainly not for me.

1st Financial Update of 2016

You Need a Budget (YNAB) came out with a new program that is web-based, which I started using Dec. 30. Personally, I like the technical changes.

I decided to start fresh, update my categories, and this new perspective showed me that, hey, I actually have spending $$ available! Now, I didn't go nuts, and I'm still pretty focused on building my Freedom Fund...but I also didn't stress about buying new boots when I saw how worn mine had gotten. I didn't stress about buying a new laptop because my old one was going. I planned outings with friends without stressing about $$.

Sylvia's budget has also gone really well (and she too prefers the new YNAB). She decided to start community college and, for the first time ever, got my seal of approval to dip into her Emergency Fund :) Of course, I told her this can't be a regular habit, but given the timing, it was the best option. Now, we have a better understanding of how much she'll need each semester, and can budget accordingly. Neither of us regret that she took some time off before starting school again, and both of us are confident that community college is the right place for her right now.

She is also budgeting regularly for car maintenance, car insurance, registration, gas/parking and her insurance deductible. There's no way she could afford to live on her own right now, but she is developing good habits and staying out of debt.

Meanwhile, Riley and I have started a car/driver's license fund. As with Sylvia, she will have to wait until she has a job before she can really get going on driving (or anything else), but at least we're on the same page about things.

The new YNAB has an "Age of Money" feature. The goal is for the money you spend to be at least 30 days old. Sylvia and I both have "35 Days" as our Age of Money.

I decided to use my most recent 5th paycheck to fund one annual category in full to alleviate the "monthly" budget (as well as beef up my Freedom Fund), which I'll do again with the next 5th paycheck.


I'm also beefing up Theatre Tix to see Hamilton at least twice and Something Rotten on their national tours. And I have a really lofty goal for my Freedom Fund, but it's more than a decade away.

I'm not sure if it's truly financially viable, but it's a really great motivator to continue cutting costs where I can and dream about being able to afford what I really want!

But in the meantime, I'm making sure there are enough funds to not only cover our needs, but some of the more reasonable wants, too.

I think I'm even starting to believe that we are in the middle class after all!

eBook now available in Paperback!

It's a little more expensive this way, but I decided to make the book available in paperback form. You can buy it on Amazon or CreateSpace. And, it should also be available in public libraries soon so feel free to ask your local librarian, too!

Also, MyGreenFills is sponsoring a contest for a free washer and dryer! Enter here by Feb. 28:  Samsung Activewash Contest- MAIN

The Real Benefit of Savings

I seriously loved this article. It reminded me of how I ended up marrying X in the first place. And staying with him for as long as I did.

I didn't marry him until I was 7 months pregnant with our second child. At that point, it seemed inevitable. When he asked, there didn't seem to be any real reason to say no. I figured having kids with him was a bonding enough experience, so why not get the marital benefits out of it?

Except, of course, marrying the wrong person can be the worst mistake you can make - emotionally and financially.

Because he was such a drain on our finances, it wasn't long until I felt I wasn't in any position to leave him. Finally, the timing worked out where I was both 1) ready to leave him emotionally, and 2) had a tax refund to get out of there.

My daughter has previously asked me why I make her save 20% of each paycheck, and also, why I always say "no" when she wants to dip into it. Now, granted, her financial needs are low and her salary is low. But she already has more in her Emergency Fund than I ever had until just about 2 years ago.

Oh sure, it can sound romantic and noble to have nothing, to be reminded that money isn't everything (which it isn't), but I think it's time for a new financial story.

We need protection from our own bad decisions or unlucky twists of fate.

I can remember more than once calling my sister in tears because of yet another financial consequence of that truly terrible decision. I remember wondering, when will it end? Why wasn't it enough that I was raising the girls on my own while working full-time (and for many years, going to school part-time at the same time)? When would I be done paying these dues?

Without a financial safety net (whether you call it an Emergency Fund, a Freedom Fund or a F*** You Fund), it took me about a decade.

Now, if all that sounds too maudlin, here's another perspective. I hope the first time we both think it's okay for Sylvia to dip into her Emergency Fund is for a happy twist of fate. I hope that it's to help pay for a move for a great new career or education (without draining the Fund completely, of course). There can be opportunities that require a little investment to get started. Of course, I hope it's for something like that.

The real benefit of savings is to minimize the disruption of a bad decision/unfortunate event or maximize an opportunity. To take care of you when you need it.

eBook on sale!

First, an apology. Wanted to get this done for New Year's, but couldn't get my act together in time. Then again, if you're like me in that sense, this will be perfect timing!

My eBook is on sale Jan 10 - 17! Check it out!

Balancing the Middle Class

CNN has this nifty calculator where you can find out if you are in the middle class where you live.

While the value of this information is limited, I do think it helps to understand where you stand in your community, particularly living somewhere like L.A., where living costs are high, but incomes vary.

I'm practically as middle class as one can get, which surprised me a little because I don't feel middle class. Not that I feel dirt poor either, but I guess working class or lower middle class is more what I thought we were.

Of course, it begs the question, what it does mean to be middle class? To me, it means that one doesn't have to struggle to meet their daily/monthly needs. Crazy, but I feel like like we're there...which I wouldn't have said just a few years ago.

I think it's important, however, to stick to that scarcity mentality one has to develop when their income is less than middle. Even if/when you've reached middle or beyond, it doesn't matter how much your annual income is; there is still a limit.

If discovering you're middle class or above comes as a shock, that might be a sign of not practicing enough scarcity mentality.

This is why I like the Warren/Tyagi method in All Your Worth: The Ultimate Life Money Plan. If you can keep your needs (housing, food, transportation, monthly bills) to 50% of your income, then save 20%, you can use 30% towards wants. I'm still not there yet, but I like using that as my ultimate goal.

If I actually got there, I might even feel like I'm in the middle class.

Changing my Mindset

My First Mindset Change. It wasn't a New Year's resolution, but in early 2013, I vowed to not incur any new credit card debt. It took a few months, but by the summer, I knew I could keep it up and didn't look back.

My Second Mindset Change. I can't pinpoint this one exactly, except maybe to say when I started using YNAB. Obsessing over the budget screen helped me to look at my spending differently. Suddenly, making my lunches felt like a better plan. Then, giving up cable. I focused on decreasing my monthly have-to bills so I could spend more money on things I really enjoy, like going to see live theatre.

My Third Mindset Change. I loved when I got off the paycheck-to-paycheck cycle and started living on last month's income, but I still couldn't see the value of a large chunk of money in the bank...except it was nice to think about ways to spend it.

This year, my mindset change has been to appreciate the concept of letting money sit, something that we discuss on the YNAB Forums frequently. I don't know exactly when it changed, but I did realize that suddenly, even though I have more in my Emergency Savings than I've ever had before, I'm more focused on making that account grow than I am on thinking of ways to spend it. I have mini-goals planned that I'm working towards, but I also plan to just keep letting it grow indefinitely.

This mindset change has also affected my retirement planning. I decided to increase my 401k contribution and then was so excited to discover that it had a way for me to automatically increase it annually! I was a little frustrated with myself that this didn't occur to me before, but I'm trying to accept that as long as I'm moving in the right direction now, I just have to keep doing what I can do now.

But the point of this post is not to boast or brag. None of this has come easily for me, yet I am discovering that the longer I keep at this, the better I'm getting at it. Certain lifestyle changes which seemed unthinkable in years past have become a part of everyday life. And most importantly, certain ways of thinking about money have also changed, slowly but surely.

And that, I think, is the key. Start slow. Pick one thing. Here are some ideas.

If credit card/consumer debt is consuming you, do not incur new debt. period. Just that.  Of course, pay what you can, but don't try and pay it all off in one month or something crazy like that. Just get used to life without incurring consumer debt.

If you're drowning in monthly bills, pick one area per month to focus on. Maybe in January, you try to find a better rate for your cell phone bill. In February, you try to get a lower auto insurance rate. In March, you focus on eating out. And so on.

If you need to save more money, try Afford Anything's one percent challenge. If that's too intense, just up your automatic savings by $5 per pay period. Then, try $10 per pay period.

Again, don't try to do them all at once. Just pick one. After it becomes easy, then move on to something else. 

Seriously, if I can change my mindset, anyone can.

Wishing you a prosperous New Year!

Guest Post at Logix

I was honored to be asked to write a guest post for Logix: A Financial Fresh Start.

Never Blow Your Budget Again

I was talking to someone recently about budgeting programs, and why I'm a huge fan of YNAB, but not so much Mint or some of the others.

The problem with Mint (et al) is that it only tells you when you screw up. It makes you feel bad about going over-budget. You find yourself on the defensive, talking back to the spreadsheet or screen shot or whatever, exclaiming, "but I didn't know ___ was going to happen!" From having to attend a funeral to saying yes to a spontaneous get-together with a friend in town unexpectedly to simply not knowing you were going to have to buy your kid new shoes this month, there are many ways where your best-laid plans can go awry. Instead of red numbers or emails telling you, "you screwed up!" (okay, maybe not so harshly, but that's how it can feel), I like YNAB's Rule 3 philosophy to roll with the punches.

And you don't have to use the software to implement the strategy. Just change your numbers.

I know! Who knew it could be so easy? But that's really all you have to do. Sure, you might freak out for a moment, going, I don't have enough money to cover this! My experience, however, has shown me that there is always a way.


Earlier in my journey, when I still didn't quite have a handle on my non-monthly expenses, it was Sylvia's dance recital fees. I remember stressing in the car on the way home, thinking that the only way I could cover this was to add debt to the credit card. But when I got home and looked at my budget screen, I saw that I could instead pay less towards my outstanding debt and still not incur new debt. (I still could pay the minimum plus, just not as much as I wanted.)

Every month, I put $25 in my Mayhem category (for stuff I forgot, unexpected, etc.). In the beginning, I was using that much more often, but now, I've got close to $200. If you leave excess unbudgeted, you will be more inclined to buy yourself something fun (or at least, I would). By having a category for it, it's there for you when you need it.

Your budget should not feel like a straight-jacket. Most budgeting software does. If you don't want to pay for YNAB, use pen and paper or a spreadsheet so that you can feel in control of your budget and change as necessary. (Of course, much more detail available in my eBook :)

Change your budget as necessary so that instead of feeling like a failure, you feel empowered.