Friday, December 19, 2008

New Year's Wishes for my Daughters

As we continue to scurry around in the holiday madness, I've been reminded that we are entering a new year, with many changes in our future. No one knows exactly how these changes will turn out, but most of us are hyper-aware of the uncertainty that we take into 2009.

As a mother, I wonder, how much of this is affecting my children? It is nearly impossible to shield them from talk of recession, a new incoming administration, of the major failures and downfalls of our leaders in business and politics, nor do I really want them to be completely oblivious. As usual, I am attempting to find a proper balance in their outlook and mine.

My main wish for this coming year is to keep my oldest daughter's world as stable as possible. Apparently, any trauma surrounding her twelfth year of life can have life-lasting consequences. While both of my daughters are well aware that I can't control everything (sometimes moreso than I'm willing to admit to myself, even), this mama lion will be at her most fierce against any and all outside forces that threaten to upset her life.

I will do my best to keep in tune with their development. It's astonishing to see the changes in maturity level, even from one minute to the next! It has made me wonder if the real generation gap comes from well-meaning parents simply trying to understand their child's emotional state (with the term "state" being used very, very loosely). I will keep the music volume down in the car so that we can continue to have the heart-to-hearts that seem to take place there. (Probably has to do with more time being spent in that car than at a dinner table together!)

I will put more effort into spending one-on-one time with each of my daughters. It's not that they don't get one-on-one time with me, but it's usually spontaneous. Sylvia (my oldest) and I seem to do most of our connecting when I'm carting her from one activity or another. Riley (my 8-year-old) gets her mommy time snuggling in my bed with me. I think I need to actually schedule activities with one of them at a time when possible.

I will do my best to continue to communicate to them that even though the world can make no sense, and sometimes life isn't fair, it is still better for them to attempt to always do the right thing. We may not be able to make a war go away, or completely stop all injustice, but we can lead our own lives as justly as possible. And that sometimes we do screw up, but so long as we can learn from it, and correct our mistakes as possible, then we can sleep contentedly. That sometimes the past is better left behind us, and the present is all that we can control.

We will continue to watch the morning news as a family, and certain movies and TV shows as a family to discuss human nature and all the dangers and love that can be found within humanity. We will continue to laugh at ourselves, and tell each other we're sorry. We will lose our temper with each other, but our love for each other will never be questioned. We will never go to bed without hugs and kisses. We will never pass up an opportunity to tell each other we love each other. We will share our ups and downs with each other. We will spend time with family and friends. We will continue to get up every day and go to school/work, and do our homework/housework.

The year on the calendar may change, but we will appreciate all that remains the same, too.

Originally posted on LA Moms, Dec. 18, 2008


Suzie said...

Ill take a ,look

Me. Here. Right now. said...

Congrats on the post.

My kids know fully how it's impacting them--less under the tree, less money for movies and fun. Me even speaking about it, which I've not needed to do. They are older though.

We talk about the increased crime too and how people who might have gone their entire lives not doing the wrong thing are...some of us are in pure survival mode. That's what 8 years of Bush has brought us to. Survival. But, i daresay you won't see the members of that administration suffering post-January. Bastards.