Monday, February 21, 2011

Making the Time to Write

There hasn't been much time to blog lately, and even less time to read others'. We've been too busy living life! As I'm getting through the laundry, the girls have been very understanding that I need to write. I've written three different posts for three other sites, and oh yeah, I have this blog, too!

I love that my daughters get this blogging thing. As I was reading It's My Time to Write's post on Exploiting My Baby, I started to understand on a new level why this is important.

Books and blogs about parenting are changing how we parent. We are expressing our doubts and fears and challenges and de-mystifying parenting from those old stereotypes of "mothers always know" and "wait until your father gets home." And I think part of lifting that silence will actually bring parents and children closer together.

Part of what tears adolescents apart from their parents is that the teenagers finally get that we don't know everything. They're terrified to the point of anger that we can't always make everything better anymore. Their troubles can't be solved with a bandage and a kiss from Mommy, their mistakes have greater consequences than a time-out, they are about to enter the world independent of us, and feel in part that we've failed them for not prepping them enough. And some things are just too embarrassing or shameful to discuss with Mom or Dad.

By parents throwing open the doors to our own fears and challenges, admitting our mistakes on a blog, even sometimes crying in front our children, we are more vulnerable as humans than most parents before us. Even in our boasting about moments of triumph, we show how we got there. Our journey is there for all the world to see. Including, in the case of us bloggers, our children.

Sometimes, I've asked Sylvia to read what I write here, or elsewhere. Sometimes, I ask her to read it before I publish it, when it's about her and the Mean Girls or whatnot. I don't know if she ever reads my posts without me, but I feel okay with what I've written if she does. And I can't begin to describe the pride I feel when she tells me, "you're a good writer!" or "I'm so glad you blogged about that!" or even, "Mom, you should blog about that!"

Of course, reading other people's blogs or books on parenting is a great way to get different perspectives and new ideas. I find myself thinking about other people's posts long after I read them, even if my poor memory can rarely recall where I read it! And parenting has changed greatly now that we're no longer stuck to only our neighbors that generally think along the same lines we do for conversations about parenting. While the unfortunate consequence has been the judging of other mom bloggers, I gain a lot of value from those other moms, even if I don't always agree with them. I appreciate learning why they parent the way they do. (At one point, I was going to write about the Tiger Mom article, but then it all just became too much...noise.)

I find it hilarious that we stress so much value on reading and writing...and then criticize people who do just that. I'm proud to be a Mommy Blogger. I barely qualify anymore since that title usually only includes moms with young children, but I'll still call myself that. As long as I feel it just as important to make the time to write and read as making dinner; it feeds our family's soul.


Shannon said...

I'm far from parenting the teen years (and honestly scared to death of them) but I think you make an excellent observation about when a teenager realizes her parents don't know it all. I hope I can remember your point when I do get there.

Thanks for the blog mention!

Tara R. said...

My college aged daughter sometimes reads, and comments, on my blog. She told me once that she likes seeing a different side of me through this venue.

Danielle said...

I love being a blogging Mom too! You wouldn't be able to tell lately! lol