Saturday, August 1, 2009

When all else fails, blog about blogging

SV Moms (LA Moms parent group) has started a video series, Byte Out Of Life. Here's the video featuring Kim Tracy Prince from House of Prince (I had the pleasure of hanging out with her both at the LA Moms brunch and at the Tupperware party), and Donna Schwartz Mills from SoCal Mom (can we consider this the 3-named moms series?). I met Donna at the LA Moms launch party (but I was too shy to say more than a few greeting words to her).

Unlike Kim or Donna, I started blogging with the hope of finding a community. Kori, Julie, and FreedomFirst and I had all been part of a moms community that has since closed shop and found that we had much more to say. Through that, I met so many, including Florinda, who brought me into the LA Moms group. Through LA Moms, I met Jessica Gottlieb, and Jessica just recommended me for another website. Through the single mom blogging community, I got the opportunity to be the LA Single Parenting Examiner.

These benefits; the friends, the outings, the opportunities to write more, aren't just valuable for those reasons alone, though.

The real benefit has been the inner changes.

At the time I started this blog, I already had a couple of years of single parenting under my belt. I'd even managed to complete my bachelor's degree. I was in the process of making changes to benefit Sylvia's education.

Yet at the time, I could see none of these accomplishments. I was still very angry and bitter. I loved my kids very much, and was doing a fairly good job, but all I could see was what I didn't have, what I hadn't done.

And yet, even then, I knew that I had to find more balance in life - hence, the name of this blog.

So I started the blog with specific goals for myself. And somehow, I've found that I have surpassed them.

Oh, sure, I still bitch about my ex here. Because part of that balance is not suppressing those feelings, but expressing them.

I don't divulge all here. I can't because I'm not just telling my story here, but the story of my daughters. Some of that is not meant for internet consumption. Some of you get ranting emails from me about what Sylvia or Riley did last night because I need to express that as well, but I can't betray their privacy.

So then I turn to your blogs, and find great perspective on how to deal with my own problems.

So now, the big buzz words in social media contain "addiction" and "obsessive." Do we Twitter, FB, or post too often? Are we spreading ourselves too thin with our various writing obligations and ignoring our duties at home?

Well, take a wild guess what I have to say about that? Yep, it's all about balance. I check in with Twitter, but don't post every 10 minutes. I check in with Facebook every day, and longer on weekends. I get behind on my Reader because to stay on top of it means I'm either not working or cleaning or sleeping!

But if I didn't do these things, then I would probably be closer to that person I was nearly 3 years ago. Angry, bitter, and close to desperate. It's so much easier to find the balance when your life feels full!


Tara R. said...

"easier to find the balance when your life feels full" I like this. If you sit around and dwell on what you think are your negatives, you won't see all the positives. Sound like you've found your balance.

won said...

Great perspective and reminders April.

You made many good points that I need to remind myself of.

Florinda said...

That last sentence sums it all up very well. And it's gratifying to discover that you have exceeded your goals.

MindyMom said...

Well said April.

I know I feel much more balanced than I did pre-blog, pre-facebook and twitter. Those are all MINE!

The naysayers and party-poopers forbid single moms to have or do anything for themselves lest it "take away" from what we give to our children. What they don't understand is that keeping ourselves balanced IS giving our children the best mom we can be in addition to a better role model for them.

Natalie said...

Everything in moderation. There are definitely people that are "addicted", heck I went through my own phase; but most people I know online seem to have a pretty healthy balance. ;)

Kori said...

Having been one of the ones honored to know you all this time, I can honeslty say that I am stunned at how much you have grown and changed in the last years; balance, indeed.

jenn said...

Great post. Blogging has become my therapy in a way. And there are things I can't say online either, so sometimes certain people get emails from me too. But I think I would be in a worse place if I didn't have this outlet. Like you say, balance is the key.

Shiona said...

Oh I so wish I could get to this point. Slowly but surely I hoep to. Thanks for the great post>