Farewell, Boston Legal

I will miss this show a lot. Over the years, they covered nearly every topic of interest to me, and some that became interesting to me after seeing it on Boston Legal.

I was never a big William Shatner fan prior to this show, but I did love his ability to make fun of himself. He took it to a higher level as Denny Crane, the famous turned infamous right-wing defender of all things I'm against, but forgivable given his mad-cow disease. And his friendship with James Spader.

Now James Spader, I have been a fan of since his '80's movies. (My personal fave is White Palace, but that's me.) On Monday nights (or whatever night they were on depending on the season), I got to hear him pontificate grandly, defending my position most of the time, but in ways that had never even occurred to me until he said them (through the glorious words of the glorious David E. Kelley - my all-time favorite television writer). His womanizing was forgivable, given his admiration for intelligent women in particular.

This is the only show I know of that has openly mocked our sitting Supreme Court. Now that might offend some, but personally, I found it hysterical. And having Justice Alito marry two male characters? (I won't spoil it just in case anyone hasn't seen the season finale yet.) I mean, come on! Who does that?

Once The Sopranos left us, Boston Legal became the best show on television. Funny, poignant, controversial, thought-provoking, very often politically incorrect, and SMART.

And Kori, it is available and totally worth renting on Netflix!

Boston Legal, I will miss you, and all of your reincarnations throughout your years. Thanks for the memories.

Weekend Wrap-Up

One of these days/weeks, I'll post more than just a weekend wrap-up and one post a week. Last week was not one of those times. This week? Don't know yet.

Things were busy. Monday night was our employee party, Tuesday night the PTA meeting, Thursday was the cookie exchange party, Saturday Sylvia had a basketball tournament (her team lost - HUGE - but her team was mostly 5th graders playing mostly 8th graders. It was over before it began), and Sunday we were up very early for the Say No to Drugs Race. But at least on Saturday, I got to sleep in. I was looking forward to that all week, since last weekend had us getting up to an alarm every day. There is no weekend without a day off from an alarm, I believe.

Riley did much better in PE this week, passing the "standard time" allotted for her run on Monday. We were elated for her! The Curriculum Director was out most of the week due to a family emergency (everything is fine now) but he will check in next week and let me know his thoughts. Wednesday didn't go quite as well (Riley has PE twice a week), but I'm trying to keep our obsession level down a bit. She did have a lot of fun this a.m. at the Say No to Drugs Race. She just has to remember she likes to run. Loves it, even.

Sylvia did awesome at the 5k today. I was most surprised to see Sylvia and her granddad finish before my mom! Last year, she left them behind. Sylvia's improvement in a year is quite impressive, especially considering she only has run these on an annual basis so far. We're thinking of finding another 5k for her to do in the summertime.

I'm not sure if we'll go back to the Say No to Drugs race next year. It's doubled (at least) from the attendance last year. We always feel compelled to go since they keep putting one or both of the girls on their brochure. I have a feeling we'll be hoodwinked into it again if we see those smiling faces on next year's brochure! The girls' Boys & Girls Club is also a sponsor, so that's another compelling reason to continue to support it. (Not to mention, of course, it's a good cause.)

The girls and I are back to watching Lost, now that Season 4 is out on DVD. I also wasted 2 hours of my life watching Bottle Rocket. I guess that says enough about what I thought of it.

It probably didn't help, however, that I was struggling to finish my knitting project at the same time - my first sweater. I had stopped knitting during the move and have only recently gotten back to picking it up one or two nights a week. Outside of one lesson, I've basically been teaching myself, so when I get stuck, I'm really really stuck. I don't know if this sweater will ever be able to be worn in public, but I'm pushing through it anyway. I figure I'd rather make as many mistakes on this one item before I start the next project - maybe the next one will be wearable!

I love this email I received this week (before the bail-out failed - for the moment):



I think it's better, frankly, to let these companies file bankruptcy. As I've said before, the little guys will still be the ones hurt the most, but I don't see anything outside of bankruptcy teaching a lesson to the guys at the top. I also think it's pointless to worry about which car companies are American or not. All cars import and export parts from everywhere so to say a car is "American" or not doesn't really mean anything anymore.

Oh, and I confess, I've been doing a bit more writing than you see here. This post from the LA Moms blog also got picked up for syndication, but I actually prefer this post.

This coming week is full of more holiday gatherings and possibly another basketball game for Sylvia so I'm not sure if more weighty posts are in the immediate future or not. I appreciate everyone who stops by even (make that especially) when I have little to say!

Day Without a Gay

Time has passed, and for the most part, I've moved on, but I still get very sad when I think of the passage of Prop 8, and you will not stop hearing about it from me from time to time until gay couples have the same right to marry as straight couples enjoy.

Today is Day Without a Gay day.

What would my life be without knowing the out individuals that I know? I can't even imagine.

Growing up in theatre, I knew as many gay people as straight at an early age. It meant about as much to me as the color of someone's skin, or if someone had red hair or brown. It was simply another characteristic.

The theatre community is like that: everyone is accepted just the way you are. If you were willing to put yourself out there, you were a part of the group.

Kind of like blogging, come to think of it. While I may be single mom heavy on my blog-roll, I have folks from every walk of life in my Reader...even a few non-parents! I don't care what you are when it comes to male/female, married/single, what religion you practice, what country you're from. I believe I can learn and I know I do learn from every single one of you. But I digress...

It just never occurred to me to place a judgment on someone based on their sexuality. When I was nine years old, I remember getting into it with my uncle for making derogatory comments and I think I may have even called him homophobic at the time. He was very amused by it all, but I was very upset. These were my friends. These were people that had taught me nearly everything I knew about theatre, that had welcomed me with open arms. They were as much my family to me as he was.

I also grew up in a home where our "bible," if you will, was the Constitution of the United States. My father fought in Vietnam, my grandfathers fought in World War II. In fact, every male cousin and uncle has served this country for the very reason of paying homage to what this great country allows us. We've never been rich, and some of my family has been very, very poor, but we grew up with the idea that if you worked hard, this country allowed freedom and equal opportunity to all.

So the very idea that, in the 21st century, there are some people that do not enjoy equal rights is offensive to me. And when I can put so many names and faces with who those people are, my heart cries for them.

These are people that have taught me, advised me, supported me, given birthday presents and Christmas presents to my daughters, tutored Sylvia in math, been shoulders for us to cry on, given me cash when I needed it, bought me a cup of coffee, given me a new perspective when I needed it, taken me out to dinner, made me dinner, made me homemade honey lavender ice cream (YUM!), forgiven me, intellectually challenged me, emotionally challenged me, gone to great efforts to understand me, loved me, and basically have enriched my life in ways that cannot truly be measured.

The least I can do is stand with them and fight for their right to live their lives equally.

If you are "straight for equality," you might want to check out Atticus Circle. The button on the left will lead you to a place where you can donate to help win the battle for equality.

I'll end this by stealing a quote from Jon Stewart when talking to O'Reilly about what the true tradition of America is: "the tradition of America is a progression of individual freedoms." He went on to say the next step in the tradition of America is gay marriage. I can only hope he's right.

The Power of Negative Thinking

Amidst all the holiday cheer, we all know that this is also a time where many people suffer depression as well. There are also many who may not categorize themselves as "depressed," but put themselves in the "bah humbug" category about the holidays. Maybe because they don't have a lot of money (particularly this year), maybe because their children won't be home for Christmas, maybe it's a harrowing holiday-related past event or maybe it's a sense of isolation that feels like a bubble setting one apart from all the warmth around you. When someone tries to express this feeling, it's usually met with some variation "try to concentrate on all the positive in your life." Now, if you're the person expressing these feelings, you may experience some guilt for not appreciating what you have. Doesn't really inspire happiness. Sound like I'm speaking from experience? Absolutely!

Last holiday season was really difficult for me. I was very frustrated, as I reflected on the past few years, and felt like I wasn't nearly where I wanted to be at this point in my life. There was also some stuff going on that's not important now, but didn't help at the time. Every holiday event was, to me, ripe with opportunities for tears and frustration. Even my kids' excitement was like a knife in my heart, mainly because I felt guilty for not feeling the same way and feeling like I was failing them by not embracing the spirit.

I got through it, which I realize is more than some people do, but not without its scars. As I entered the new year, I began to look at things a new way. I began to dread get-togethers and parties as much as possible. I was definitely looking at the glass not just half-empty, but completely empty. I made the decision beforehand that it was going to be miserable, and just to embrace it.

And you know what? Crazy as it sounds, it helped.

Instead of feeling guilty that I didn't appreciate things, I began to actually appreciate every time I didn't feel depressed, every smile, every cause for laughter, every moment of kindness that someone gave me. I genuinely appreciated it, not just felt like I should.

Oh, there were still (and most likely always will be) things said or not said that can hurt. But certainly, it can hurt a lot less if you're expecting it. I still live under the assumption that there's not a lot of people I can let in too close, but I do know that there are some people that will always be there for me, and when I stop and think about it, there are more than I thought I'd have, and I deeply value each and every one of them.

My dad always told me, "hope for the best, but expect the worst." For years, I concentrated on that hoping for the best part. But expecting the worst is really the key.

I've passed this on to a few friends that are anxious about certain events in their lives, and try to talk themselves out of it with "it'll be fine." When I advise them to think that it won't be fine, that it'll be horrible, they nearly always come back and say, "that wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it'd be!" And I smile, because I know what they mean.

I also warn against thinking things can only get better. They usually get worse first. It's better, I believe, to be pleasantly surprised than horrified. So long as you keep going, everything passes.

I look back now at last holiday season and wish I had thought of this sooner. I'm trying not to think too much about the events coming up, lest I experience optimism about them. I'm just putting them on the calendar, and so long as I show up, I'm doing my part. If they're horrible? Yeah, whatever. If they're okay? Then that'll be better than I expected.

Negative thinking, in my opinion, has gotten a bad rap.

Originally posted on LA Moms, Dec. 9, 2008

Weekend Wrap-Up

Update on the Parent Teacher Conference: I spoke to the PE teacher on Thursday. It was frustrating, to say the very least. His response to what we can do to help her? "I don't know." I've decided this guy must be the only person in the world who doesn't like Riley, so I'm going over his head. The curriculum director already knows (and likes!) Riley and me from her speech therapy and the PTA meetings. I asked him to please observe the PE class on Monday and tell me his thoughts.

I told Riley that success is the sweetest revenge - that she should do her best for her, and to make sure the PE teacher has no reason to come down on her ever again. I confessed to her that I didn't really like him, and she burst out with relief, "I don't like him, either!" I don't think things will change overnight, but I hope that she eventually sees that it's easier to just do it.

Friday night, Nancy and I went to see a play. The audience was more entertaining than what was happening on stage. We left at intermission. I won't name it here because that's just crass, but let's just say it involved a few name actors who were directed very very poorly, and even the costumes were bad. It was definitely our worst theatre date, but we still managed to have fun with the journey.

I can't embed this video, but I laughed out loud at this dream sequence from The Starter Wife, where Messing explains the difficult life of a busy, working mom. Take the minute and 11 seconds to check it out.

On Saturday, Sylvia had her first basketball game with the B&G Club. Her team KILLED the other team. I think the final score was 42-8. The other team didn't even score until the 2nd quarter. Don't tell Sylvia I said this, but it was more in spite of her than because of her. There are about 5 girls on her team that were incredible! Especially at stealing the ball. Sylvia made some good passes, but she was obviously the least seasoned player on the team.

I was fairly amused at one of the dads there, passionate about the game. He didn't stop directing his daughter from the sidelines the entire time she was on the court! I was glad I wasn't really emotionally invested. I am proud of Sylvia for getting out there and trying, but it's a good thing their season will consist of three games. The other two are next week.

My biggest news this week is that I moved in to my new office!! It is so, so nice to be in there, no longer surrounded by the many, many interruptions and distractions that I used to encounter out there in cube-land. Everyone still stopped by to check out my new digs, but that will die down the longer I'm in there, I'm sure (no, Coolio was not one of them - one of the benefits of someone knowing you hate them is they tend to leave you alone). And I can have conference calls and meetings in my own office instead of borrowing someone else's. Yay! I also have room for my files, and one of the assistants had already moved all the pics of my girls before I even moved in, so it felt like home immediately. After the game yesterday, I took the girls to see it. They are so thrilled for me.

I have decided that my favorite sentence in the English language is "I agree with you." I'm also fond of "you're right" and "thank you." No, no real point to that - just a thought I had when a lawyer said to me, "I agree with you."

I do have a post of epic proportions (or at least some weight) to post one of these days. In fact, there are a few drafts running through my head, but they're not quite focused enough and I don't have the time or energy right now to get them there. Someday soon, I hope...

Cheerleading and Basketball and Band, oh my!

Once upon a time, I read the article "The Overscheduled Child" and thought, I will never let this happen to my girls. MY girls will only do one extra-curricular activity at a time. MY girls will have plenty of unstructured play time to be free.

And then, Sylvia started sixth grade. Suddenly, I have a cheerleading schedule, a basketball schedule, and a possible band schedule to manage.

It started off innocently enough. Sylvia started a new school this year. When she expressed an interest in joining the cheerleading squad, I thought it was a perfect opportunity for her to make new friends and be involved in her school.

Then she had a drumming circle as an elective in her first quarter, and I was duly impressed at the band concert. Her school has an excellent music program. I was also pleased that Sylvia, of her own volition, approached the music teachers about possibly joining.

A few weeks after that, when I picked the girls up from their after-school program, I couldn't resist yet again when Sylvia asked me to talk to the coach of the girls' basketball team. It's only a couple of games, after all, and yet again, I was impressed by her initiative.

Except now, I'm having to remember that on Mondays and Wednesdays, I pick her up at 5, Thursdays and Fridays at the after-school program at 6, and oh yeah, she needs basketball shoes, and a change of clothes for cheerleading practice, and what time is the game next Thursday?

Also, she's planning to run a 5k with her granddad in December, and she needs to train for that. And oh yeah, the holidays! When is our department holiday gathering? And then there's the family get-together. Plus we got invited to that cookie decorating party. Let's not even worry about scheduling Xmas shopping time right now. And I have another kid here somewhere...

So that's how I went from a mom who vowed to only involve her child in one activity at a time to juggling three - no four - after-school activities. Yet another mom-myth shattered by reality - of knowing your child only has one childhood.

Originally posted on LA Moms, Dec. 3, 2008

The Parent Teacher Conference

Yesterday was my parent teacher conference with Riley's 3rd grade teacher. Her grades were, frankly, better than I expected. Academically, she's scoring well on her tests, and in the classroom, she's contributing regularly and thoughtfully. Sometimes, she doesn't focus, but both the teacher and I were mostly relieved that it's not just either of us!

She did get some "Needs Improvement" scores, based mainly on her not finishing her homework. We talked a lot about that. Thankfully, her teacher is open to Riley trying other things as homework, so long as they focus on the skills at hand. So we bounced around a few ideas on different ways of getting it accomplished so we can all stop tearing our hair out.

Riley had the day off from school, so we discussed the report card with my parents last night. It did help me to have some reinforcement, and she took it all well. In fact, we had most of the conversation before I even showed them the actual report card, and then Riley wanted to make sure they saw it.

One of the main things we stressed was that her teacher said she was this close to making the Honor Roll, but she can't have any "Needs Improvement" in order to qualify for that. She's SO close, she doesn't seem to have problems taking tests, all she needs to do is just, well, do it. I think she understands that part now.

So when it came to do the homework, she was stalling in every way possible when it came to filling out her Science workbook answers. I went online to find the publisher's site, where there were vocabulary quiz games and crosswords. Well, that did it! Once it was interactive like that, I could not tear her away from it! The same with reading. They use the tickettoread site which incorporates both fiction and non-fiction. Riley spent a good hour on that over the weekend. So she'll be doing that a few times a week instead.

It's not ideal, I realize, but it gets her going in the right direction.

The biggest problem, however, is PE. Now, Riley is a girl who runs races. She's active, active, active. She loves sports, she loves pretty much all physical activity. And right now, she's basically failing PE. This is the part of the conference where I teared up a bit. It does not compute for me.

PE is taught by someone other than her regular teacher, so I'm trying to schedule a conference with her actual PE teacher to find out what's going on. Riley isn't giving me a lot to go on, but from what I gather, he sounds more like a drill instructor than someone who cheers the kids on. Riley HATES PE. Hates it. She was thrilled that Monday was a PE day that she was missing from school. How normal does that sound for an 8-year-old?

So we shall see how things go from here. She is a smart, thoughtful, creative, outgoing, ACTIVE girl that just needs a little bit more of...something...to shine her brightest.