Monday, September 16, 2013

National Singles Week 2013

I'm thrilled to once again participate in National Singles Week (Sept. 15 - 21). 

A few months ago, I had the honor of meeting Bella De Paulo, arguably this nation's foremost expert on singles issues. I am thankful that she always has the info to fight those certain stereotypes against singles and single moms. Please go to her site, buy her books, and learn about why these issues are important in her post kicking off the week.

Singles issues aren't just for people like me that relish in their single lifestyle. Bella's research has shown that more Americans live the majority of their lives as a single person than as a married person. It affects all of us at one time or another so I love being a part of #singles week.

I've already written plenty of times about why I love being single, so I should address when it's not so great. But just like with everything else in life, you don't have to be great at doing everything alone to like being single.

For most people, the scariest part of being single is being alone. I will admit that I still don't feel comfortable dining alone in public and I avoid it. And really, it hasn't been an issue. It's cheaper to eat at home anyway. Most days at work, I bring my lunch and eat at my desk. Which isn't as bad as it sounds. I search for Broadway videos and always end up smiling. Otherwise, I eat lunch with friends or at committee meetings for the non-profits I support.

There are certainly times when I feel like the odd man out. At work, the majority of my colleagues are married. Most of the time, it's not an issue, but there are times when I feel like the odd woman out. Still, they are short-lived and certainly not the only times of discomfort in my life. And most definitely not enough of a reason to search for a relationship that I don't really want.

I suppose the most annoying thing of all is the conception that being single is a transitory state. And I think it annoys me most of all because I was also guilty of believing that for a very long time.

When I first started googling for single mom support groups or single mom bloggers, the focus was mainly on dating sites and government assistance. I stopped using Google Ads and changed my profile because saying I was "single" meant the ads were all focused on becoming un-single. Somewhere along the way, I found Bella and others that delivered what I was really searching for: a community that wasn't trying to change my status.

Other sites celebrating National Singles Week: Onely, The Spinsterlicious Life, and Unmarried Equality.

1 comment:

Missy June said...

I think it's so important to recognize singleness as a valid family structure. You are wise to not attempt to couple-up only to fill the occasional discomfort or cave to seeming norms. How interesting that many/most of our years will be spent in singlehood...I think we better get comfortable with ourselves!