Monday, November 5, 2012

My Beautiful Friend, My Bucket is Full

My dear friend, Bonnie, passed peacefully this weekend.

I was lucky enough to spend time with her in the days prior. Heartbreaking and beautiful. She was surrounded by love in her last days. Her family, and people like me, who felt as if she were family.

She had that way about her. She was there for everyone in her life that she loved. We gave back as much as we could.

She had made certain decisions that made it difficult, but also beautiful. She was in her home and there were no tubes. Just Bonnie.

She lasted more days than most people thought she would. When I wasn't with her, my heart still was.

She changed our lives in so many ways. I will never forget that.

She brought her loved ones to us, who continued to change our lives. We will forever be grateful that they are with us, and together, we will try to emulate what she taught us.

Bonnie was feisty, too. She made me laugh so many times with her sharp tongue aimed at those who didn't live up to her standards.

Her standards were high, but completely doable. Give what you can, and you can always give love.  She enjoyed life. She made it fun. She saw the beauty in those she loved, and we felt like we were better people in her presence.

She didn't believe in being false, though. She was the one that taught me, when your bucket is full, you have to empty it. You have to express your feelings to be free of them.

I only got sad this week when I was away from her. Somehow, it was easy not to cry in her presence. She couldn't respond with words, or even her eyes in the day before she died, but there was still something that made me believe she could hear me. She may not have understood the words, but somehow I feel confident that she understood my gratitude for her love, and my love for her.

I like to believe that our presence, our laughter, our love for her overshadowed her pain in her last days. She seemed at peace most of the time.

Yes, she was taken from us too soon. Yes, I will miss her for a long time to come. I have shed many tears this week and I will shed many more because my bucket is full.

The girls and I will hold you in our hearts forever, Bonnie. Thank you for having us in yours.


Kori said...

I am so sorry to read of this, truly.

Kim Tracy Prince said...

Oh April.

Oh, sweetie.

I'm so sad for you. And the date. I just don't know what to say. Know that I am sitting here in sorrow for you.

Andrea said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. ((hugs))