Monday, July 16, 2012

Having it All - Part 2

How does a single mother have it all? Because I have all that matters to me.

For the first few years of single parenthood, I tended to focus on what I didn't have. From the marriage to a house to call our own to career, I could only see what I lacked.

Eventually, as we all settled into our new lives, my perspective changed.

First, I went back to school and could advance in my career, and I found a program where I could help others and feel part of something. And then I started volunteering for the PTA. I figured out that so long as there was something else in my life besides work and kids, and included some form of community involvement, I felt fulfilled.

Then I realized, I really didn't want to be a homeowner. I figured out that it would make me feel the opposite of stable; the financial obligation was just too much. So I accepted and started enjoying being a renter.

Finally, the realization that I like being single. I like having that time at the end of the day, after the girls have gone to bed, to just be me, with no one else around. I like making the decisions for my family on my own. I like going to Disneyland, just the three of us. Our family unit is complete as we are.

This is not meant to diss anyone who wants these things, or values them most. We should all go for what we want, but we don't have to want everything.

My life is far from perfect, but for the most part, the problems come and go and we remain relatively unscathed. And I know I have the support I need to keep getting through.  

I don't have everything in the world. No one does. But I have all that I need to feel complete.

I have my girls, a job that I love, and the ability to fill my free time as I desire. I have all that I need.


Missy June said...

Such great perspective! Thank you for sharing that it took some time to realize that you already had it all ... often we just don't even realize it.

BigLittleWolf said...

You've come so far and done so much, April. And maybe it's time we either stop using the expression "having it all" or simply allow what that means to vary.