Monday, September 20, 2010

Single, but not alone

This post is in celebration of National Unmarried and Singles Week.

After taking Bella DePaulo's Are You Single at Heart, I realized that I probably am.

Now let me just throw in the disclaimer: this isn't to disparage marriage or coupling, but to contribute to the voices that are saying, I'd rather end up single.

It was hard to admit this at first because it seemed to go so against the grain of what we're supposed to want. It has helped that I have found a community of others that feel the same way.

As I've mentioned, Bella DePaulo is not just "among" those, but my personal hero. Her articles both at Psychology Today and now on her personal blog are great resources, particularly when single parents are being demonized in the political arena! I am grateful for her ability to use her passions to create rational arguments. It's a gift I don't have, and knowing she has my back is of great comfort to me.

I can't remember how I first "met" Rachel Buddeberg, but I'm grateful that our paths continue to intertwine. As Bella has identified her, she is rising in the ranks in her role as a single-minded change agent, and I'm giddy to say I knew her when!

Alternatives to Marriage Project
is an amazing organization, doing great things for the unmarried and singles. It's a simple mission, really. Do not penalize those who have decided not to join the "institution" of marriage. They are working to create equal opportunities for those of us who might need a loved one that isn't a spouse to care for us in the hospital, to keep federal funds from being bribes for marriage, and like Bella, standing up when someone calls us a "national disaster."

Footloose Femails is an email group of happily unmarried women. We celebrate one another's accomplishments, support one another in times of need, share laughter, talk about home-buying, single women in the news, and vent off some steam in the face of singlism. Basically, an awesome group of amazing, accomplished women from all around the world of which I'm proud to be a part.

As you can see, I am far from alone. But I'm proud to be happily single!


Erica said...

This is a great post. I do notice how skewed everything is towards partnered people and that definitely doesn't work for everyone! Very cool.

Anonymous said...

We are really really lucky to have such a vibrant and active pro-singles online support community. :)

-- Lisa

Penelope said...

Great post! I love how many communities there are online and the amazing people you can meet through blogging.

Anonymous said...

I agree with everything you've said ..... I sure am glad that I live in the 21st century!!!

i01anda ....

Rachel said...

Happy Singles Week, April! Thank you for posting this because you've included many of the support pillars we have. Yes, we're far from alone! Your post is a wonderful way of showing it.

Danielle said...

I am with you on this. I love my alone time.