Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Why Gay Marriage needs to be Federally Legalized

I have this friend. She happens to be a lesbian. She happens to be a lesbian in love with a woman from England. They met when my friend, B, was an exchange student there. They've been together for a few years now. I know B's girlfriend (N) from N's previous visits, and she's great. They're both educators, smart and compassionate at their jobs and work well with kids.

B has just been detained while trying to visit her girlfriend in England. She's previously applied for a work visa, which was denied, and that showed up when they swiped her visiting visa, so they've detained her, searched her bags, her employer has called to confirm that B is expected back at work in July. Most likely, B will have to turn around and come home.

N is working on getting a US working visa, but, given the state of economy, and given the fact that she's a teacher, has not yet been successful.

B and N could get married in England, but could not come back here to live and work, which is what they want. I haven't investigated enough to know whether or not they could get married in Iowa or one of the other 3 U.S. states that recognize marriage if one of them is not a US citizen, but I do know that said marriage would not be considered valid in California or any of the other states that have denied gay couples equal rights.

Unless we all move to civil unions (which is my preference, but most likely not going to happen), this is why gay marriage has to be recognized on a national level. Vegas weddings are, as we all know, recognized everywhere else in the U.S., in the world, even if the couple is merely drunk.

This makes me crazy.

On another note, I have a new post up at Examiner.


FreedomFirst said...

Not going to comment on the gay marriage thing. But your observation about Vegas weddings cracks me up. It's embarrassing to all of society.

Rachael said...

It makes me physically angry that your friend cannot be with her partner because people care so much about something that in all reality doesn't affect them one way or the other.

CableGirl said...

If it makes you feel any better (which I doubt) your friend would probably not be able to marry and get her partner a visa anyway. I have a straight couple friend who were both forced tolive outside the US because even after they were married she was not allowed into the country. The US Immigration service was sure the marriage was a sham (which it wasn't) and wouldn't grant her entry.

But, yeah, I agree with legalizing gay marriage and I think drunken quickie weddings are a disgrace.

Natalie said...

I am completely with you on this.

That is all.

dadshouse said...

What's your take on the suggestion that the government get out of the marriage business, and instead only deal with civil unions, whether straight or gay? This leaves "marriage" for religious institutions to define, and gives equal rights to all partnerships.

The Exception said...

I happen to think that government should look at everyone as single and let people do their own thing when it comes to marriage but... I doubt that will happen any time soon! ;)

That said, I have a friend who is American, her wife is Irish. They were married in Canada and moved to England where they are quite happy. But... they did that because it is nearly impossible for Irish citizens to obtain entrance Visas into the US due to number applying and their nationality. Plus, they couldn't live here as wife and wife... and for them, it was important to marry. Luckily, for them, living in England was a possibility. For others, it isn't. And they can't live in the US as married people to my knowledge as the marriage isn't recognized which would give the Irish citizen the rights of a person married to an American.


Shiona said...

Just reading this makes my blood boil. It's so unfair and annoying. And immigration man we could go on and on with so many stories from both of these situations.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

One of the MANY reasons it should be legalized. :)