Thursday, October 11, 2007

Crazy, Awesome...Wow

You really, really have to read the whole thing first. Promise me you'll read it all, and then come back to see what I say about it.

Okay, first of all, whoa, right?

And really, so many reactions to have. WTF?!? being the main one, I think.

But then this is my main reaction: What a fascinating tale of human yearning...yearning felt by everyone in the story. The one (or ones) that had to make up this whole fantasy life in order to fill the need for human connection, the one who bought into the whole fantasy, most likely justifying any clues along the way in order to believe in true love, the author of the article and his friends who cared enough about another human being to actually be there for her.

The things we'll do to feel...

Do you ever wonder how much drama is created by and between people in order to just feel something? It happens every day, around the country - the world, from the office politics of those trying to make themselves feel important and those that feel affected by it, to the playgrounds at schools where friendships are made and tested and proven, to the good ol' Internet, where judgments and statements and rants are read and dissected and fought and cheered on...

Now, this is not to say that people aren't really feeling what they're feeling. They are. Absolutely they are. But how would we feel anything if there was no one giving us something to which we could react?

I suppose it comes from my days as an actor. That old saying, "don't act. React." And it's true. You have to respond emotionally to what is happening in order for the audience to respond to it.

How can we, in reality, feel an emotion if there's nothing there to make us feel it? And if there's nothing there, and we feel and react, doesn't that make us crazy?

I talk to myself. All the time. I spend hours in my cube in front of a computer, talking to it, talking to me...I don't think I'm crazy, but I could be perceived as such.

I talk to myself at home. After the girls go to bed, and I'm watching t.v., and I have a thought which I would say out loud to a person were a person there...I say it out loud anyway. I know no one's there, but that doesn't stop me!

And, sure, sometimes I wish there were someone there to hear me. But it would really have to be the right someone. The someone who disappeared when I really did want to be alone, someone who would say to my girls exactly what I would say to them, someone who would put the dishes in the dishwasher the way that I like...there's simply no need to actually find someone, that most likely wouldn't meet even half my criteria, if all I really supposedly need in order to not feel or appear crazy is someone to be there when I say something out loud to the t.v. (and, really, I'm not all that fond of people to begin with).

I think of blogging as a way to fulfill the need to connect. You write, you hope that people respond to it, you hope that you don't sound crazy :)

Human nature...and all the variations of degrees of the needs in humans...will never fail to fascinate me.


LunaNik said...

Wow...such an amazing story and such an insightful post.

Kori said...

All right; this IS crazy, but being one of the kinds of people who really needs and wants to feel sense of connection with people, I can see how this could happen. I like to think I am not as vulnerable to being scammed as the woman in the blog was, but I just don't know. You are so right about this, our need to FEEL something, and that we all look for ways to fill that need. We hope we make wiser choices; we hope we are more intelligent, more aware, more something, but maybe we really aren't.