Tuesday, March 1, 2011

My Life as a Fag Hag

I actually hate that term - so derogatory! And not nearly as nice as it is to be a friend of friends of Dorothy.

Even Glee gave the concept a hard time when Kurt accused Rachel of beginning a lonely life as one. It's so not lonely! There is tons of laughter, tons of fun, and tons of great conversation.

Being a child of theatre, I found the joy of hanging out with gay friends early in life. When they weren't cracking me up, they were making me think, and inspiring me to be myself, no matter what.

Of course, for me in particular, there are - for whatever reason - more gay men that can appreciate a good Sondheim song than there are straight people, of either gender. In high school, I have fond memories of singing through all of our favorite Broadway songs with one friend who knew them as well as I did. I could say, he happened to be gay, but it kind of goes without saying, right?

I've danced the night away with gay friends, I've been comforted, I've been advised on everything from make-up to wine selections. I've learned from their stories of coming out, surviving AIDS, and thriving despite being loathed for being honest.

Which is not to say that our entire friendship is based on their sexual orientation, or mine. It's just a friendship. Maybe a little more willingness to color outside the lines, but really, just a friendship like any other.

Frankly, I don't understand the need for a label for females who happen to enjoy spending time with gay men. The idea that I can't be a friend without falling in love with them is simply ludicrous. I love them, indeed, just like I love all my friends. And so what if I'm single? I've been friends with gay men, no matter my relationship status. (Interestingly enough, only straight people have ever questioned me about the concept of being happily single.)

My life is simply better by being a friend of friends of Dorothy. They love me best when I'm being me. There's no better friend a person can have than one that accepts a person for who they are.


BigLittleWolf said...

Not a great expression, I agree. (And accepting people as they are - is it really so hard? I don't think so.)

BTW, am I the only person who doesn't watch Glee???

Mandy said...

OK .. so I had no idea what a fag hag was until I read this but now I've been educated. And you're right, there is no better friend than the one who accepts you for who you are. And I think getting there requires honesty and vulnerability.