I read and participate on sites and forums dedicated to personal finance. Sometimes, people post about things that I personally won't do to save money.
Complain about fast food service to try and get a coupon or freebie. Now this one's personal since my daughter currently works in said industry. She tells me stories of people recording interactions or complaining about a tone of voice or lack of smile. Dude (or lady), you're at a fast food restaurant. Calm down! Now, this is not to say that we won't speak up if our order is incorrect. My daughter felt really bad, but she still spoke up when her order wasn't right. But as long as you get what you paid for, there's no need to create drama.
Open credit cards or bank accounts for cash back/rewards. I only open credit cards or accounts if I actually need (or want) to do so. With Costco/Amex's impending divorce, I started keeping my eye out for credit card deals, and of course, I chose one that had rewards and a sign-up bonus, but I don't plan to open any more because I don't want the added hassle of another card to manage. I'm really happy with my credit union, and now that I'm signed up with one online bank for savings, I'm done. I had to call that online savings bank recently for one matter, and of course, they tried to sell me a checking account, but I politely declined. I suppose I could chase $50 here or $100 there, opening up checking accounts A-Z, but it just doesn't seem worth it to me.
Buy 2 to get 1 free, or spend $x to get free shipping. I always consider it. And almost always decide against it. As an Amazon Prime member, I am used to free shipping, but if I do happen to be on other sites, it's almost always less to pay for the shipping than to get to that $ threshold. If I need 1 of an item, I don't need 3. I will save money by not buying the 2nd.
Clip coupons. When we moved, we got the Sunday paper for free for a few weeks so I went through the practice of looking at the coupons for the first couple of weeks. And found almost nothing that I'd use or want or try for 40 cents off! Needless to say, I'll never be on Extreme Couponing!
Shop on Black Friday. I've never understood the appeal of getting up in the middle of night (or whenever it starts these days) to buy a TV or whatever. I mean, I know they're supposedly great deals, but I much prefer Cyber Mondays...or just buying such things when I can afford them at the best price I can find.
This is not to say that there's anything wrong with doing those things if 1) you enjoy them, and 2) you see value in them. Ah, see what I did there? I put enjoyment before value! Because one of my friends thinks I'm crazy with my grocery spreadsheet. It's not crazy to me because I enjoy updating my grocery spreadsheet every week...and I see the value in staying on or under budget. But I don't think I'd have kept it up this long if I didn't enjoy it, too!
So this is a really long-winded way to say (again) that your values should align with your spending...and saving.
Thursday, November 19, 2015
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Surviving the Holidays on a Single Parent's Budget
So honored that Mandy Walker asked me back on her Conversations About Divorce podcast to discuss budgeting for the holidays as a single parent.
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Avoiding Impulse Buys
I've never been into brick-and-mortar shopping. I don't even much like going to movie theatres in malls. I am, however, a big fan of online shopping. It's just so easy and convenient!
In the past few years, I've learned how to keep the ease and convenience while still remaining debt-free.
Amazon Prime is a priority for me, and I don't mind paying the annual fee (I budget $9/mo to cover it). I've decided that I will let my Costco membership expire next year, and I use Amazon Subscribe & Save in place of wandering that huge, always-crowded warehouse! And, of course, I budget for that.
Still, there are times when retail therapy sounds nice, so I may browse Amazon, but instead of adding items to my cart, I add them to my wish list. When I get my monthly cash back from my credit card, I can use that to buy something on my wish list.
Whenever I peruse my wish list, I delete those items that I don't even remember why I wanted them! If something costs more than what I have available in rewards, then I have to check the budget to see if there's enough in the relevant category to cover the difference. If not? Not buying that item this month! Things on my Wish List range from $10- hundreds so there's usually something on there that meets my rules.
If I'm on a site other than Amazon (which does happen from time to time), I may add the item to my shopping cart, but then I have to check the budget. Sometimes, I'll move things around to make it work, but most of the time, I look ahead to next month and x out of that tab with a mental note to come back on the 1st (and sometimes I do, sometimes I don't).
Just this weekend, I learned about a new product I really wanted to try that wasn't available on Amazon and frankly, it was overpriced. I added it to the Cart anyway, but then deleted it when I saw it would take 6-8 weeks to ship and really, what's the point of an impulse buy if I won't have it in 2 days? If I'm still thinking about it next month, I'll figure out a way to add it to the budget.
What I find fascinating is that clicking that "Add to Cart" or "Add to Wish List" generally satisfies that impulse for me. I don't actually have to pull out my credit card or click "complete Purchase" to feel complete. This little mental game has been effective for me almost every time. (I honestly can't think of a time where it hasn't been, but that may also be a mental trick!)
While I recommend waiting at least 24 hours (preferably 30 days) before making an impulse buy, at the very least, check your budget (or your balance) first. You will enjoy it so much more if you know you can afford it!
In the past few years, I've learned how to keep the ease and convenience while still remaining debt-free.
Amazon Prime is a priority for me, and I don't mind paying the annual fee (I budget $9/mo to cover it). I've decided that I will let my Costco membership expire next year, and I use Amazon Subscribe & Save in place of wandering that huge, always-crowded warehouse! And, of course, I budget for that.
Still, there are times when retail therapy sounds nice, so I may browse Amazon, but instead of adding items to my cart, I add them to my wish list. When I get my monthly cash back from my credit card, I can use that to buy something on my wish list.
Whenever I peruse my wish list, I delete those items that I don't even remember why I wanted them! If something costs more than what I have available in rewards, then I have to check the budget to see if there's enough in the relevant category to cover the difference. If not? Not buying that item this month! Things on my Wish List range from $10- hundreds so there's usually something on there that meets my rules.
If I'm on a site other than Amazon (which does happen from time to time), I may add the item to my shopping cart, but then I have to check the budget. Sometimes, I'll move things around to make it work, but most of the time, I look ahead to next month and x out of that tab with a mental note to come back on the 1st (and sometimes I do, sometimes I don't).
Just this weekend, I learned about a new product I really wanted to try that wasn't available on Amazon and frankly, it was overpriced. I added it to the Cart anyway, but then deleted it when I saw it would take 6-8 weeks to ship and really, what's the point of an impulse buy if I won't have it in 2 days? If I'm still thinking about it next month, I'll figure out a way to add it to the budget.
What I find fascinating is that clicking that "Add to Cart" or "Add to Wish List" generally satisfies that impulse for me. I don't actually have to pull out my credit card or click "complete Purchase" to feel complete. This little mental game has been effective for me almost every time. (I honestly can't think of a time where it hasn't been, but that may also be a mental trick!)
While I recommend waiting at least 24 hours (preferably 30 days) before making an impulse buy, at the very least, check your budget (or your balance) first. You will enjoy it so much more if you know you can afford it!
Thursday, November 5, 2015
Balancing the Bonus (or other windfall)
It's that time of year where you might get a bonus! Or money as a gift. Or next year, a tax refund.
In such situations, I prefer the 1/3 windfall rule I learned from The Debt-Free Spending Plan: 1/3 towards debt, 1/3 towards savings, and 1/3 towards something fun or even frivolous. I like this method because it means you're not blowing it all, nor are you "being good" with it all. You get a little closer to your financial goals and still get to treat yourself!
Since I'm now consumer-debt free, however, I don't use that exact rule. Instead, I use 1/3 towards my Emergency Fund, 1/3 towards my Car Purchase category (to stave off future debt), and 1/3 towards something fun - usually my theatre tickets category, but sometimes retail therapy. I opt not to put it towards my student loans because the interest rate is so low, I'm better off saving myself from a future car loan.
If you have more than one kind of debt, the 1/3 should go towards the one with the highest interest rate. If, however, it's enough to pay off a debt completely at a lower interest rate, by all means. Or if you could pay off a debt completely using more than 1/3, then go for it! Then split any remains evenly towards savings and fun.
Even if it's a relatively low amount left for fun, enjoy the game of getting the most bang for your buck: a manicure, a bottle of wine, even a latte! Something that feels completely indulgent to you that you can enjoy debt-free.
I know that many implore treating any debt as an emergency, but it was important for me to be able to give myself these little treats every so often to maintain a debt-free lifestyle. Further, growing that savings is just as important to living debt-free.
If you haven't yet gotten off the paycheck-to-paycheck cycle, the savings should go towards getting yourself a month ahead. First goal: $1,000. Then, a month's worth of expenses. Then another.
If you don't have any debt, congrats! Consider investing 1/3 in something like Betterment. Or put 1/3 towards a savings category that will help you avoid debt in the future, like your kids' education (in which case, it should go into a 529), a down payment towards a house or car, or a potential large purchase in the future (like replacing your fridge, computer, etc.).
Windfalls are great for making progress towards your goals, and should also be enjoyed!
In such situations, I prefer the 1/3 windfall rule I learned from The Debt-Free Spending Plan: 1/3 towards debt, 1/3 towards savings, and 1/3 towards something fun or even frivolous. I like this method because it means you're not blowing it all, nor are you "being good" with it all. You get a little closer to your financial goals and still get to treat yourself!
Since I'm now consumer-debt free, however, I don't use that exact rule. Instead, I use 1/3 towards my Emergency Fund, 1/3 towards my Car Purchase category (to stave off future debt), and 1/3 towards something fun - usually my theatre tickets category, but sometimes retail therapy. I opt not to put it towards my student loans because the interest rate is so low, I'm better off saving myself from a future car loan.
If you have more than one kind of debt, the 1/3 should go towards the one with the highest interest rate. If, however, it's enough to pay off a debt completely at a lower interest rate, by all means. Or if you could pay off a debt completely using more than 1/3, then go for it! Then split any remains evenly towards savings and fun.
Even if it's a relatively low amount left for fun, enjoy the game of getting the most bang for your buck: a manicure, a bottle of wine, even a latte! Something that feels completely indulgent to you that you can enjoy debt-free.
I know that many implore treating any debt as an emergency, but it was important for me to be able to give myself these little treats every so often to maintain a debt-free lifestyle. Further, growing that savings is just as important to living debt-free.
If you haven't yet gotten off the paycheck-to-paycheck cycle, the savings should go towards getting yourself a month ahead. First goal: $1,000. Then, a month's worth of expenses. Then another.
If you don't have any debt, congrats! Consider investing 1/3 in something like Betterment. Or put 1/3 towards a savings category that will help you avoid debt in the future, like your kids' education (in which case, it should go into a 529), a down payment towards a house or car, or a potential large purchase in the future (like replacing your fridge, computer, etc.).
Windfalls are great for making progress towards your goals, and should also be enjoyed!
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
My Fiscal Year in Review
In my day job, the end of the fiscal year is kind of a big deal so it felt like a good time to look at my personal financial life for the past year.
Here's my Net Worth report (sans numbers):
Even though there's still some red after March, that just shows my credit card balance before I pay it off. I usually send at least 2 payments a month to keep my debt to credit ratio under control. The actual debt was paid off March 1.
The spike in February marks my tax refund. Alas, since Sylvia is turning 18 soon, I don't expect these kind of returns from now on, but I feel like I shouldn't need them anymore, either.
Because I continue to grow certain categories every month (Emergency Savings, Rainy Day funds), this has helped even in the months where I have large bills to pay (like the car maintenance last month). I'm sure a month or two without an upward trend would still be okay, but I admit, I like the current look of it!
This graph, btw, is brought to you by YNAB. I spend most of my YNAB time in the budget screen, but the reports, particularly this Net Worth report, can also be helpful.
Incidentally, being a month ahead also recently helped me. I don't know why I even try to multi-task anymore because it never works, but someone called when I was entering my time, and I thought I could both carry on a conversation and enter my time. When I checked my paystub the following week, I found that I'd missed a day. Oh, well, not the end of the world - just went back and entered it and it'll show up in the next paycheck. But I did think about those many years in the past when such a mistake would have completely stressed me out while I scrambled to figure out how to pay that week's bills and groceries. We would've been fine, but I don't need - or miss - that kind of stress.
When I first started YNAB (almost 2 years ago), I had a (very) negative net worth. I knew it would be a slow and steady race to get me to the positive, and even though I still get impatient sometimes for certain categories to grow, I know if I just stay on this path, we'll be okay.
Here's my Net Worth report (sans numbers):
The spike in February marks my tax refund. Alas, since Sylvia is turning 18 soon, I don't expect these kind of returns from now on, but I feel like I shouldn't need them anymore, either.
Because I continue to grow certain categories every month (Emergency Savings, Rainy Day funds), this has helped even in the months where I have large bills to pay (like the car maintenance last month). I'm sure a month or two without an upward trend would still be okay, but I admit, I like the current look of it!
This graph, btw, is brought to you by YNAB. I spend most of my YNAB time in the budget screen, but the reports, particularly this Net Worth report, can also be helpful.
Incidentally, being a month ahead also recently helped me. I don't know why I even try to multi-task anymore because it never works, but someone called when I was entering my time, and I thought I could both carry on a conversation and enter my time. When I checked my paystub the following week, I found that I'd missed a day. Oh, well, not the end of the world - just went back and entered it and it'll show up in the next paycheck. But I did think about those many years in the past when such a mistake would have completely stressed me out while I scrambled to figure out how to pay that week's bills and groceries. We would've been fine, but I don't need - or miss - that kind of stress.
When I first started YNAB (almost 2 years ago), I had a (very) negative net worth. I knew it would be a slow and steady race to get me to the positive, and even though I still get impatient sometimes for certain categories to grow, I know if I just stay on this path, we'll be okay.
Monday, October 12, 2015
Balancing the Lifestyle Creep
Happens to everyone. Some new service comes along and you think, "oh it's only $_ a month, I'll subscribe!" Or the ones you didn't choose, like a rent or child care increase. True story for me.
Actually, it wasn't a new service, but an upgrade. HuluPlus now offers a commercial-free option for $11.99 a month (instead of $7.99). I resisted for a whole week before I couldn't take it anymore - I think the commercials got more obnoxious just so that I would do so! But hey, a half-hour show now only takes 22 minutes.
Then I got the notice of my rental increase of $20/month. The same amount I was going to increase my savings each month. Oh, well, it's a wash.
Then it was my iCloud, which is full, and now I'm paying 99 cents a month for a bigger cloud.
Okay, so it's a lifestyle creep of about $5 a month, all in. But I have to stay mindful of these things so I don't turn around and find it's $100 a month because I wasn't paying attention. And I still want to increase my savings by $20 a month, so this month, I'm taking a closer look at my budget categories to try and make it happen.
Costs will continue to rise, so it's important to have a little breathing room in the budget. It's also an opportunity to take another look and see if the expense still aligns with your values.
Of course, increasing income should always be considered, too. It doesn't have to be 2nd job, but there may be opportunities to freelance or even MTurk. There's only so much a budget can be trimmed so if there are ways to increase your income, that's even better. So long as you can avoid the lifestyle creep, that is!
Actually, it wasn't a new service, but an upgrade. HuluPlus now offers a commercial-free option for $11.99 a month (instead of $7.99). I resisted for a whole week before I couldn't take it anymore - I think the commercials got more obnoxious just so that I would do so! But hey, a half-hour show now only takes 22 minutes.
Then I got the notice of my rental increase of $20/month. The same amount I was going to increase my savings each month. Oh, well, it's a wash.
Then it was my iCloud, which is full, and now I'm paying 99 cents a month for a bigger cloud.
Okay, so it's a lifestyle creep of about $5 a month, all in. But I have to stay mindful of these things so I don't turn around and find it's $100 a month because I wasn't paying attention. And I still want to increase my savings by $20 a month, so this month, I'm taking a closer look at my budget categories to try and make it happen.
Costs will continue to rise, so it's important to have a little breathing room in the budget. It's also an opportunity to take another look and see if the expense still aligns with your values.
Of course, increasing income should always be considered, too. It doesn't have to be 2nd job, but there may be opportunities to freelance or even MTurk. There's only so much a budget can be trimmed so if there are ways to increase your income, that's even better. So long as you can avoid the lifestyle creep, that is!
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Balancing the Emotions as a Single Mom
I think I already mentioned that I joined a private single moms group on FB (email me if you'd like an invite), and there are some themes coming up that I've written about before, but it's been so long, I thought it's a good time to revisit.
Loneliness is just another emotion: it has a beginning, a middle and an end. I know there can be times when it feels unbearable. But you know what? It actually isn't. It passes. Usually when a kid or work email distracts you, but it always passes. Fighting it, however, will usually make it worse. Just sit with it, maybe with a good song, and then get back to real life.
Accept your life as it is today...with an eye for what you want in the future. In the introduction of my eBook, I mention that you need to budget for your life as a single mom. You can't expect that your marital status will change before you have to deal with your debt. Similarly, you can't live your life simply biding your time. First, you have kid(s) to raise. Today, right now. But even more than that, you are free to think about what you want, what your dreams are outside of a relationship. You might not be able to pursue them at this moment, but you can start dreaming!
Seek help, accept help. This was one that was hard for me, but essential. From therapy to a friend's offer to talk or babysit, accept the help. If you're in a situation where you can't go out with friends due to lack of babysitting (or money), now there's Skype and Facebook and all kinds of "places" to explore from the comfort of your own home. I'm not going to bother finding the link but I skimmed an article about how podcasts are also really good at filling the void of a social life. I think it was written as a criticism of "these kids today," but I see it as a more creative alternative for those who need or want it for one reason or another. (I posted about some of my favorite podcasts here.)
Your kids will be okay. I should add the caveat: if you take care of yourself. It's true that the more okay I felt about myself, the happier my kids were, too. It's not going to be easy, but it's not easy for any parent...in any situation. And, of course, taking care of yourself doesn't mean outrageous self-indulgence because that's not good for you, either. No, self-care is looking out for your mental well-being, your health and your wealth. Your kids will absolutely follow your lead. That doesn't mean they will listen to you the first time you say it, of course, but your lessons are coming through...the good and the bad. In that same vein, it's okay to let them know when you're wrong.
Take it one day, one hour at a time. Because really, what's the alternative? It can be overwhelming at times, particularly when you're worried that this one thing will permanently affect your child. And yes, divorce probably does permanently affect your child. But my girls will be the first to tell you that they're grateful for it. Yes, their dad still affects them, but usually, it doesn't interfere with their daily lives. Every family's situation is different, of course, but together, you will navigate it. Because really, you don't have a choice.
Honestly, the first few years, I wasn't sure I was going to make it. But I did, and the girls did, too. And more days than not, we are content with our lives today. And always with dreams for the future.
Loneliness is just another emotion: it has a beginning, a middle and an end. I know there can be times when it feels unbearable. But you know what? It actually isn't. It passes. Usually when a kid or work email distracts you, but it always passes. Fighting it, however, will usually make it worse. Just sit with it, maybe with a good song, and then get back to real life.
Accept your life as it is today...with an eye for what you want in the future. In the introduction of my eBook, I mention that you need to budget for your life as a single mom. You can't expect that your marital status will change before you have to deal with your debt. Similarly, you can't live your life simply biding your time. First, you have kid(s) to raise. Today, right now. But even more than that, you are free to think about what you want, what your dreams are outside of a relationship. You might not be able to pursue them at this moment, but you can start dreaming!
Seek help, accept help. This was one that was hard for me, but essential. From therapy to a friend's offer to talk or babysit, accept the help. If you're in a situation where you can't go out with friends due to lack of babysitting (or money), now there's Skype and Facebook and all kinds of "places" to explore from the comfort of your own home. I'm not going to bother finding the link but I skimmed an article about how podcasts are also really good at filling the void of a social life. I think it was written as a criticism of "these kids today," but I see it as a more creative alternative for those who need or want it for one reason or another. (I posted about some of my favorite podcasts here.)
Your kids will be okay. I should add the caveat: if you take care of yourself. It's true that the more okay I felt about myself, the happier my kids were, too. It's not going to be easy, but it's not easy for any parent...in any situation. And, of course, taking care of yourself doesn't mean outrageous self-indulgence because that's not good for you, either. No, self-care is looking out for your mental well-being, your health and your wealth. Your kids will absolutely follow your lead. That doesn't mean they will listen to you the first time you say it, of course, but your lessons are coming through...the good and the bad. In that same vein, it's okay to let them know when you're wrong.
Take it one day, one hour at a time. Because really, what's the alternative? It can be overwhelming at times, particularly when you're worried that this one thing will permanently affect your child. And yes, divorce probably does permanently affect your child. But my girls will be the first to tell you that they're grateful for it. Yes, their dad still affects them, but usually, it doesn't interfere with their daily lives. Every family's situation is different, of course, but together, you will navigate it. Because really, you don't have a choice.
Honestly, the first few years, I wasn't sure I was going to make it. But I did, and the girls did, too. And more days than not, we are content with our lives today. And always with dreams for the future.
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