Thursday, November 22, 2007
Happy Holidays!
As today marks the official beginning of the holiday season, I wish you all season's greetings! I hope you are offended by no one, and appreciated by everyone. May your holiday travels not be marred by fog, rain, sleet, snow, or canceled flights. May union strikes not affect your joy of entertainment (or livelihood, as applicable). May you be overindulged with lavish gifts of great monetary value, and may you be overwhelmed with love and warmth. And may your New Year not be fraught with nightmarish credit card bills!
Monday, November 19, 2007
The Way We Never Were
So someone posted this "so true" (if you're to believe the comments on it) bit of "wisdom" on another group:
Our 'drugged' generation The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a Methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question. 'Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?' I replied, I had a drug problem when I was young: I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals. I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather. I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults. I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn't put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me. I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity. I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flowerbeds and cocklebur's out of dad's fields. I was drug to the homes of family, friends and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood; and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed. Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place. God bless the parents who drugged us.
Are you serious with this?
I don't know how I didn't end up a crack addict, then, because I was never "drug" to church, or had my mouth washed out with soap, or even got a bad report card. According to this, though, I should be strung out on heroine somewhere.
Why do people feel the need to reminisce on the "good old days" that never existed? I'm not quite sure what time period this person grew up, but if it was during my day, there were drugs aplenty. I just never chose to indulge.
If they were talking about my parents' generation, they also had drugs aplenty. They just chose never to indulge.
If they were talking about an earlier time, there still were drugs and alcohol. And there are plenty of stories (in our own personal histories, as well as historical accounts) that show that addiction has existed as far back as we can see.
To try to tie it all up neatly in a fictional account of how things were is not only a waste of time, but can be dangerous.
We do need to actually talk to our kids, to actually treat them like human beings worthy of our respect (as we expect from them). The more we distance ourselves from our kids, the more we lose sight of who they really are. The type of attitude shown above is how we end up with babies being born and dumped in public restrooms and trashes. When our kids don't feel comfortable talking to us, opening up to us about their imperfections, their fears, their doubts, their worries, their concerns, where are they going to go to get the advice they need?
I read somewhere that parents train their children rather than listen to them, and this is what causes confused adults (or irresponsible, drug-addicted, insert negative attribute here). I don't want to be that type of parent. I want to be the type of parent that actually does listen to my children.
This is not to say that discipline is not important. Of course, I discipline my children. Of course, they must learn that their actions cause consequences.
In fact, the girls and I were talking quite seriously about consequences and blame when listening to Into the Woods yesterday. We got to the song "It's Your Fault," where the characters blame and snipe at each other about the giant in their midst, the Baker's Wife's death, and all the other things currently going wrong in their little kingdom. It was the perfect opportunity for us to discuss that sometimes, we don't even know what our actions will cause (i.e., the Butterfly Effect). We also discussed the characters' wishes, the problems that those wishes caused when they came true, and how each wish simply led to more wishes.
I think teaching our children to think, particularly before they act, is much more beneficial than just dragging them around!
Our 'drugged' generation The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a Methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question. 'Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?' I replied, I had a drug problem when I was young: I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals. I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather. I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults. I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn't put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me. I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity. I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flowerbeds and cocklebur's out of dad's fields. I was drug to the homes of family, friends and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood; and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed. Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place. God bless the parents who drugged us.
Are you serious with this?
I don't know how I didn't end up a crack addict, then, because I was never "drug" to church, or had my mouth washed out with soap, or even got a bad report card. According to this, though, I should be strung out on heroine somewhere.
Why do people feel the need to reminisce on the "good old days" that never existed? I'm not quite sure what time period this person grew up, but if it was during my day, there were drugs aplenty. I just never chose to indulge.
If they were talking about my parents' generation, they also had drugs aplenty. They just chose never to indulge.
If they were talking about an earlier time, there still were drugs and alcohol. And there are plenty of stories (in our own personal histories, as well as historical accounts) that show that addiction has existed as far back as we can see.
To try to tie it all up neatly in a fictional account of how things were is not only a waste of time, but can be dangerous.
We do need to actually talk to our kids, to actually treat them like human beings worthy of our respect (as we expect from them). The more we distance ourselves from our kids, the more we lose sight of who they really are. The type of attitude shown above is how we end up with babies being born and dumped in public restrooms and trashes. When our kids don't feel comfortable talking to us, opening up to us about their imperfections, their fears, their doubts, their worries, their concerns, where are they going to go to get the advice they need?
I read somewhere that parents train their children rather than listen to them, and this is what causes confused adults (or irresponsible, drug-addicted, insert negative attribute here). I don't want to be that type of parent. I want to be the type of parent that actually does listen to my children.
This is not to say that discipline is not important. Of course, I discipline my children. Of course, they must learn that their actions cause consequences.
In fact, the girls and I were talking quite seriously about consequences and blame when listening to Into the Woods yesterday. We got to the song "It's Your Fault," where the characters blame and snipe at each other about the giant in their midst, the Baker's Wife's death, and all the other things currently going wrong in their little kingdom. It was the perfect opportunity for us to discuss that sometimes, we don't even know what our actions will cause (i.e., the Butterfly Effect). We also discussed the characters' wishes, the problems that those wishes caused when they came true, and how each wish simply led to more wishes.
I think teaching our children to think, particularly before they act, is much more beneficial than just dragging them around!
Sunday, November 18, 2007
105 Facts About Me
1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING?
--NOPE
2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP?
-- 7 years
3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
a GC from the MomsTeam
4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE?
Of course!
5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?
Like worked out a problem? A scheduling conflict?
6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?
My kids.
7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE?
A sandwich.
8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
physique
9. ONE FAVORITE SONG?
For Now from Avenue Q
10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
Los Angeles
11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED:
L.A. County High School for the Arts
12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER:
Verizon
13. FAVORITE MALL STORE:
Amazon.com - I hate malls
14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD:
This one - 4 years.
15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?
Oh, I'm sure the girls have a pair in one of their games
16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?:
NO - drunk dial, yes.
17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED:
My nephew Ian's.
18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY:
Keri
19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND:
About a month ago
20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT:
Del Taco
21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD:
Everything happens for a reason.
23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS?
Anyplace where I don't have to pick up any part of the tab!
24. CAN YOU COOK?
that's debatable.
25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?:
Toyota Camry
26. BEST KISSER?:
I plead the 5th
27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?:
last night
28. MOST DISLIKED FOODS:
mustard
29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
I can laugh at myself
30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
getting too emotional
32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?:
New Year's Eve at my old job. I worked from 8 in the am 'til about 2 the next am.
33. FAVORITE MOVIE?
Can't pick one, but one fave is Desk Set.
34. CAN YOU SING?
yes
35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED:
Bette Midler - over 7 years ago.
36. LAST KISS?
does my daughter count?
37. LAST MOVIE RENTED:
Witness
38.ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT:
Coffee
39. FAVORITE VACATION SPOT?
Bermuda
43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?:
Desktop I wish I had a laptop
44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN?:
Couldn't choose one, but one is Lewis Black
45. DO YOU SMOKE?
All right, fine, yes! Leave me alone!
46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES?
with
47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?:
Bobbie
48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?
I know of one very successful one
49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE?
3
50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST?
french toast
51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?:
Does a bear...
52 HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
over easy
53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?:
whatever
54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?:
Keri
55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?:
Keri
56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?:
plead the 5th
58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?:
2
59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?
jeans, t-shirt, sweatshirt.
60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC:
The difference between a cow and a bean is a bean can begin an adventure!
61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J?:
honey
62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?:
I can play, but I'm not any good!
63. CAN YOU SWIM?
yes
64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?:
coffee
65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS?
I like Thomas Guide.
66. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF:
I once sang the national anthem at a Byron Scott basketball game
68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?:
yes
69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON
Spring
70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID?
yesterday
71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING ?
7:45 am.
72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?:
living in L.A.
73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?:
8 years ago.
75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?:
Sissy
76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?:
Jack is cool.
77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND??
Had B'fast with the Principal yesterday, then went to Dream Dinners, then got to have a few hours to myself, went to see a play, had drinks afterwards, and today we're going to a family b-day party.
78. BIRTHDATE
It was 1973
79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE:
Yeah, I don't know.
85. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?:
No
87. ARE YOU SMILING?:
not currently
89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW
no one in particular
90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO?
Hawaii
92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?:
LOL
93. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?:
yes
94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME?
Mommy
95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?:
black (of course)
96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?:
Not in school
97. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?:
No
98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?:
yes
99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER
yes
100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?:
yes
101. ARE YOU IN LOVE?:
NO
102. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL?
yes
103. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW?
no
104. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING?
I never wear jewelry
105. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY?
finish cleaning the house, get ready to go to the aforementioned b-day party.
Nikki - I tag you to do this next!
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Why We Still Need Feminism
Nikki wrote a blog about how feminism creates more divorce, and cited this article in Forbes. And all I could think was that feminism still has a long way to go.
Now, this isn't to say it's not moving fast enough. Sure, I'd like progress to move faster, but given all the other problems we all face every day, it has to take its place in line.
Statistics and stereotypes. I was going to write a blog on "the blame game" yesterday, based on a different debate about welfare assistance. But now I think that statistics and stereotypes are really where the blame lies on most of these arguments.
The first statistic to overcome is this one that's supposedly been proven over and over again that married people are happier (or, according to Noer, healthier) people. How have we come to this foregone conclusion? I certainly wasn't happier when I was married! And it had nothing to do with me being a "career woman" (I can't believe I meet his criteria, because all I am is a lowly secretary). It had to do with the fact that my husband was a drug addict loser that stole $$ from our family to support his habit. I wasn't happier in my first marriage, either. I was pretty much just an idiot (I was only 19) who thought that a cruise ship romance could work in real life. Not.
But I know I'm just one person here. But here's my first point: when are REAL people going to start mattering? When are we going to start actually looking at individuals AS individuals and stop counting on statistics to tell us what to think of them?
And here's the point that Nikki made, and not necessarily as a negative, but simply for what it was. When divorces became easier (not easy, mind you, but easier), when more opportunities opened up for women, women took them. And we're supposed to be shocked that the divorce rates rose? Well, duh! That was the whole point! Women didn't have to be stuck in loveless marriages, or even at home with kids if that's not what they wanted. And I don't think women in happy marriages left. I don't think women who loved staying home with their kids felt like they were being forced into the workplace.
Now, some are. I still don't think that's the fault of feminism. It's the males who prove themselves incapable of being real men that leave single moms with no choice but to pick up the slack. Or of not being man enough to accept that their wife is making money, or because men can't handle the changes in the "labor specializations" that Noer describes. Or, in the cases of those former career women who are now SAHMs, supposedly unhappy with their lives, maybe it's because their husbands treat them like idiots now that apparently only care about their kids' poopy diapers.
It's not surprising I guess that Noer, being a man and all, can explain away all these statistics as the fault of women. And I suppose, if I wanted to be fair, I'd have to say that it can't be the man's fault all of the time. But isn't it worth at least exploring their part in this instead of just blaming it on the career woman?
Most women I know that work, but would rather stay home (and have a husband working), have come to terms with the knowledge that they want the extras, the luxuries that their working affords them. One woman commented on Nikki's blog that woman who have children should stay home with them.
I'm still not convinced of this. I believe that some women can do both, and that the real question should be, what does the woman want to do? Because if she's doing what she wants, then she's showing her children by example that you should and can go after what you want, and make it work.
I've also had discussions regarding the concept of "having it all." Women of this generation have come to understand that having it all is a loose term that can be manipulated to fit your wants and your realities into a compromise that fulfills you. Will some women take it too far on one end or the other? Sure. We all struggle with finding our balance. But I don't have a right to judge another woman's struggle, nor do I have to. There are always consequences to our actions, from the kids who resent/hate their moms for never being home to the later years in a "career woman's" life where she has no one to greet her at the end of the day.
But I will take issue with men like Noer who continue to point the blame at the women, and never look at men to see where their responsibilities and faults lie.
Now, this isn't to say it's not moving fast enough. Sure, I'd like progress to move faster, but given all the other problems we all face every day, it has to take its place in line.
Statistics and stereotypes. I was going to write a blog on "the blame game" yesterday, based on a different debate about welfare assistance. But now I think that statistics and stereotypes are really where the blame lies on most of these arguments.
The first statistic to overcome is this one that's supposedly been proven over and over again that married people are happier (or, according to Noer, healthier) people. How have we come to this foregone conclusion? I certainly wasn't happier when I was married! And it had nothing to do with me being a "career woman" (I can't believe I meet his criteria, because all I am is a lowly secretary). It had to do with the fact that my husband was a drug addict loser that stole $$ from our family to support his habit. I wasn't happier in my first marriage, either. I was pretty much just an idiot (I was only 19) who thought that a cruise ship romance could work in real life. Not.
But I know I'm just one person here. But here's my first point: when are REAL people going to start mattering? When are we going to start actually looking at individuals AS individuals and stop counting on statistics to tell us what to think of them?
And here's the point that Nikki made, and not necessarily as a negative, but simply for what it was. When divorces became easier (not easy, mind you, but easier), when more opportunities opened up for women, women took them. And we're supposed to be shocked that the divorce rates rose? Well, duh! That was the whole point! Women didn't have to be stuck in loveless marriages, or even at home with kids if that's not what they wanted. And I don't think women in happy marriages left. I don't think women who loved staying home with their kids felt like they were being forced into the workplace.
Now, some are. I still don't think that's the fault of feminism. It's the males who prove themselves incapable of being real men that leave single moms with no choice but to pick up the slack. Or of not being man enough to accept that their wife is making money, or because men can't handle the changes in the "labor specializations" that Noer describes. Or, in the cases of those former career women who are now SAHMs, supposedly unhappy with their lives, maybe it's because their husbands treat them like idiots now that apparently only care about their kids' poopy diapers.
It's not surprising I guess that Noer, being a man and all, can explain away all these statistics as the fault of women. And I suppose, if I wanted to be fair, I'd have to say that it can't be the man's fault all of the time. But isn't it worth at least exploring their part in this instead of just blaming it on the career woman?
Most women I know that work, but would rather stay home (and have a husband working), have come to terms with the knowledge that they want the extras, the luxuries that their working affords them. One woman commented on Nikki's blog that woman who have children should stay home with them.
I'm still not convinced of this. I believe that some women can do both, and that the real question should be, what does the woman want to do? Because if she's doing what she wants, then she's showing her children by example that you should and can go after what you want, and make it work.
I've also had discussions regarding the concept of "having it all." Women of this generation have come to understand that having it all is a loose term that can be manipulated to fit your wants and your realities into a compromise that fulfills you. Will some women take it too far on one end or the other? Sure. We all struggle with finding our balance. But I don't have a right to judge another woman's struggle, nor do I have to. There are always consequences to our actions, from the kids who resent/hate their moms for never being home to the later years in a "career woman's" life where she has no one to greet her at the end of the day.
But I will take issue with men like Noer who continue to point the blame at the women, and never look at men to see where their responsibilities and faults lie.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
The Anti-Union Blog
I'm a bad liberal. I dislike unions.
Oh sure, I get choked up when I see Sally Field holding the UNION sign in Norma Rae, and one of my favorite musicals that I've done was The Cradle Will Rock, the pro-union rock opera written in the 1920's. But that was the 1920's. This is now.
Today, we almost have enough federal laws to protect workers from discrimination, all workers (that are citizens, at least) are protected from slave and/or child labor, and we do have litigation options in the event of other forms of violation. It's not a perfect system by any stretch of the imagination. But the imperfections will not be fixed by the segregation of union workers versus non-union workers. The existence of unions today, I believe, do more harm than good.
Although I live and work in Los Angeles, I'm not directly affected by the current writers strike, but of course, I'm hyper-aware of it.
Earlier this week, I was questioning myself on why I just can't get worked up on the writers' behalf. I realize they have a point...but I also know that pretty much every worker in America today is getting screwed on some level by someone, and why should they get special treatment?
This article gives a good overview about those workers that are affected by this strike, yet won't gain any protection. Do you think the caterers are going to be able to claim a percentage of DVD profits? Or the secretaries that work in the studios?
And let's say the strike is effective for the writers. Does Tina Fey actually think that NBC is just going to give up that money without anyone else being affected? Can anyone say "salary freeze"? Or lay-offs?
I became more sensitive of this issue when we had the grocery workers strike a few years ago. Over the holidays. I knew a family of five where both parents worked at the grocery store, and the strike dragged on so long they were making a whopping $50 a week each in December. When the strike was finally over, the husband did not get the promotion that he was supposed to get before the strike. Two grocery stores near my parents' house closed down...wonder what happened to those workers? It was all done quietly away from media attention, but you better believe that the big bad grocery stores made up the losses!
It is naive to believe that this kind of "fight for fairness" won't be incredibly unfair for those that live and work outside the umbrella of a union. And that happens to be a very large class of people, including myself.
Do I get to just stop showing up for work because I was denied a promotion? Or because I didn't think my raise was big enough (nor is it ever enough to truly meet the "standard of living" pay-out increases)? No. I gotta suck it up and deal.
Then, there's the question of how accountable these unions' leaders are. The grocery workers' strike had more to do with the unions' bad money management than the "outrage" of the rise in health care costs. The members had been paying into a fund that was supposed to cover the difference when the grocery stores inevitably had to raise the cost of insurance, but the union had squandered that money. While my neighbors were trying to survive on $100 a week, the union leader continued to take home his $2 million/year salary!
Oh, yeah. And then there's the point of: hello! Welcome to the 21st century! The REST of us non-union workers have been swallowing the rising costs of insurance for years. Why did you get to be immune for so long to this nationwide problem?!?
A few friends of mine belong to a production-related union. I've NEVER heard them say a positive word about their union. Ever. They've had their 401k funds screwed up, they haven't gotten the raises or the chances of promotion that they should be getting, they've had their union dues go up to the point of taking home less money from year to year...and yet, to remain in their job, they're REQUIRED to be members of this union.
Which leads me to another issue with unions. The loss of freedom. Suppose there was a writer somewhere in Hollywood today saying, you know. I'm all right with it. I have a nice, good steady job, getting to do something I love. I recognize that MOST Americans don't even have that right now. I recognize that some Americans are getting their limbs blown off in Iraq right now. I recognize that some Californians lost their homes in fires a couple of weeks ago. I'm quite thankful to have what I have, and I'd rather just keep doing it.
But they can't. They can't because if they cross the picket line, they're barred from the union for life. Which means that if and when the strike is over, they can't be hired because the writers have to be union. Are REQUIRED to be. Even if you think the union sucks, even if you didn't personally vote for the strike. You either strike or forfeit your right to ever work in this town again. But, really, it's for your own good.
And it's the good fight, right? The creative talent is getting pushed around by the big, bad corporations.
I'm not saying they don't have a point at all. But we ALL do. We all have to suck up some unpleasant aspects of our job because that's how the real world works.
And those of us in the real world need our escapism. The entertainment industry counts on our need to escape in order to exist. Well, we need them right now. It may be pathetic and sad, but I get through the day by thinking about what I have to look forward to watching that night. Monday: "How I Met Your Mother" and "Samantha Who?" Tuesday: "Boston Legal" Wed: Yay! "Pushing Daisies" and "Dirty Sexy Money" Thurs: the big night! "My Name is Earl," "The Office," "Grey's Anatomy."
This is what I think about when my alarm goes off at 5:30 am. This is what my friends and I talk about when we're not bitching about work or our kids. This is why I want Sylvia to finish her homework already so I can see what's on my List, and pull out my knitting and stop thinking already! Stop worrying about the fact that my credit cards are already maxed out and I haven't bought a single Christmas present yet. Stop wondering if I'm caught up on laundry enough to not do some tonight. Stop adding to the growing and growing grocery list where all I hear is "ka ching..." The only way I can ever listen to President Bush is when it's followed by Jon Stewart's "he he he" impression. And, yes, try not to think about the fact that I'm quickly approaching the dreaded 35 with the brightest hope in my future being, at least I'm not still with my ex. Try not to feel alone, lonely, depressed, sorry for myself, sorry for my kids...just not feel. Or project my feelings into someone else's story, at least. Make myself believe that I'm crying because Kitty Walker's baby died instead of crying for myself.
Or get a little self-help in humor...shaking my head at the incredible thing that Steve Carrell just did/said on "The Office." Feel better about by myself by thinking, well at least I don't work there!
I'm well aware that there are other forms of entertainment. And I do read a lot, too. (No, really, I do!) But you can't knit and read. And sometimes, the reading just inspires more thinking and makes it hard to sleep at night. Sometimes, I just don't even want to work that hard! I just want to stop. I just want someone to indulge me by entertaining me.
So, yes, I feel personally slighted by the strike as well.
It's a sweet concept that a group of people standing up together can make a difference. And they probably can. For themselves. But until we all belong to the same union, we will not all be able to stand together.
To truly make a difference, we need to stand up united as the working class. Anything else just creates greater division.
Oh sure, I get choked up when I see Sally Field holding the UNION sign in Norma Rae, and one of my favorite musicals that I've done was The Cradle Will Rock, the pro-union rock opera written in the 1920's. But that was the 1920's. This is now.
Today, we almost have enough federal laws to protect workers from discrimination, all workers (that are citizens, at least) are protected from slave and/or child labor, and we do have litigation options in the event of other forms of violation. It's not a perfect system by any stretch of the imagination. But the imperfections will not be fixed by the segregation of union workers versus non-union workers. The existence of unions today, I believe, do more harm than good.
Although I live and work in Los Angeles, I'm not directly affected by the current writers strike, but of course, I'm hyper-aware of it.
Earlier this week, I was questioning myself on why I just can't get worked up on the writers' behalf. I realize they have a point...but I also know that pretty much every worker in America today is getting screwed on some level by someone, and why should they get special treatment?
This article gives a good overview about those workers that are affected by this strike, yet won't gain any protection. Do you think the caterers are going to be able to claim a percentage of DVD profits? Or the secretaries that work in the studios?
And let's say the strike is effective for the writers. Does Tina Fey actually think that NBC is just going to give up that money without anyone else being affected? Can anyone say "salary freeze"? Or lay-offs?
I became more sensitive of this issue when we had the grocery workers strike a few years ago. Over the holidays. I knew a family of five where both parents worked at the grocery store, and the strike dragged on so long they were making a whopping $50 a week each in December. When the strike was finally over, the husband did not get the promotion that he was supposed to get before the strike. Two grocery stores near my parents' house closed down...wonder what happened to those workers? It was all done quietly away from media attention, but you better believe that the big bad grocery stores made up the losses!
It is naive to believe that this kind of "fight for fairness" won't be incredibly unfair for those that live and work outside the umbrella of a union. And that happens to be a very large class of people, including myself.
Do I get to just stop showing up for work because I was denied a promotion? Or because I didn't think my raise was big enough (nor is it ever enough to truly meet the "standard of living" pay-out increases)? No. I gotta suck it up and deal.
Then, there's the question of how accountable these unions' leaders are. The grocery workers' strike had more to do with the unions' bad money management than the "outrage" of the rise in health care costs. The members had been paying into a fund that was supposed to cover the difference when the grocery stores inevitably had to raise the cost of insurance, but the union had squandered that money. While my neighbors were trying to survive on $100 a week, the union leader continued to take home his $2 million/year salary!
Oh, yeah. And then there's the point of: hello! Welcome to the 21st century! The REST of us non-union workers have been swallowing the rising costs of insurance for years. Why did you get to be immune for so long to this nationwide problem?!?
A few friends of mine belong to a production-related union. I've NEVER heard them say a positive word about their union. Ever. They've had their 401k funds screwed up, they haven't gotten the raises or the chances of promotion that they should be getting, they've had their union dues go up to the point of taking home less money from year to year...and yet, to remain in their job, they're REQUIRED to be members of this union.
Which leads me to another issue with unions. The loss of freedom. Suppose there was a writer somewhere in Hollywood today saying, you know. I'm all right with it. I have a nice, good steady job, getting to do something I love. I recognize that MOST Americans don't even have that right now. I recognize that some Americans are getting their limbs blown off in Iraq right now. I recognize that some Californians lost their homes in fires a couple of weeks ago. I'm quite thankful to have what I have, and I'd rather just keep doing it.
But they can't. They can't because if they cross the picket line, they're barred from the union for life. Which means that if and when the strike is over, they can't be hired because the writers have to be union. Are REQUIRED to be. Even if you think the union sucks, even if you didn't personally vote for the strike. You either strike or forfeit your right to ever work in this town again. But, really, it's for your own good.
And it's the good fight, right? The creative talent is getting pushed around by the big, bad corporations.
I'm not saying they don't have a point at all. But we ALL do. We all have to suck up some unpleasant aspects of our job because that's how the real world works.
And those of us in the real world need our escapism. The entertainment industry counts on our need to escape in order to exist. Well, we need them right now. It may be pathetic and sad, but I get through the day by thinking about what I have to look forward to watching that night. Monday: "How I Met Your Mother" and "Samantha Who?" Tuesday: "Boston Legal" Wed: Yay! "Pushing Daisies" and "Dirty Sexy Money" Thurs: the big night! "My Name is Earl," "The Office," "Grey's Anatomy."
This is what I think about when my alarm goes off at 5:30 am. This is what my friends and I talk about when we're not bitching about work or our kids. This is why I want Sylvia to finish her homework already so I can see what's on my List, and pull out my knitting and stop thinking already! Stop worrying about the fact that my credit cards are already maxed out and I haven't bought a single Christmas present yet. Stop wondering if I'm caught up on laundry enough to not do some tonight. Stop adding to the growing and growing grocery list where all I hear is "ka ching..." The only way I can ever listen to President Bush is when it's followed by Jon Stewart's "he he he" impression. And, yes, try not to think about the fact that I'm quickly approaching the dreaded 35 with the brightest hope in my future being, at least I'm not still with my ex. Try not to feel alone, lonely, depressed, sorry for myself, sorry for my kids...just not feel. Or project my feelings into someone else's story, at least. Make myself believe that I'm crying because Kitty Walker's baby died instead of crying for myself.
Or get a little self-help in humor...shaking my head at the incredible thing that Steve Carrell just did/said on "The Office." Feel better about by myself by thinking, well at least I don't work there!
I'm well aware that there are other forms of entertainment. And I do read a lot, too. (No, really, I do!) But you can't knit and read. And sometimes, the reading just inspires more thinking and makes it hard to sleep at night. Sometimes, I just don't even want to work that hard! I just want to stop. I just want someone to indulge me by entertaining me.
So, yes, I feel personally slighted by the strike as well.
It's a sweet concept that a group of people standing up together can make a difference. And they probably can. For themselves. But until we all belong to the same union, we will not all be able to stand together.
To truly make a difference, we need to stand up united as the working class. Anything else just creates greater division.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Haunted Halloween
Oh, goody! Riley won. A fish. Great.
At the Boys & Girls Club Halloween party, Riley won a fish. I'd squeaked by this once before a few years ago at the school fair. They'd run out of live fish and were giving out coupons to go to the store to redeem for the fish (again, Riley was the winner). I told the girls we couldn't get it because of our cat, and then something shiny caught their attention and the fish was forgotten.
Last week, Riley was handed a fish in a bag. Wonderful.
It's Halloween! I'm supposed to go buy a fish bowl, fish food, figure out where to put this fish sometime between dinner, trick-or-treating and celebrating Sylvia's birthday? And then there was the issue of me being broke. Not happening.
Riley actually took it well, the dear girl. But while I was explaining the myriad of reasons why this fish would be happier somewhere else, Sylvia was trying her luck at the same booth. She comes up to us, crying hysterically that she didn't win, and when she heard Riley had given her fish back, somehow manages to find the strength and tears to cry even harder. On her birthday. In the middle of a gymnasium where the sounds of children shouting, music blasting and the feet pounding echo all around.
Then, today, I read a post in a forum about a woman who was WAY nicer than me and had let her child keep the prized fish. She even went and bought another fish to keep it company. Then that fish died. Now she's trying to figure out whether or not to buy yet another fish.
Why, oh why, do these places insist on giving our children these fish, and torturing us parents with these type of dilemmas?
Riley saw Sylvia crying, and then went off on me for making Sylvia cry on her birthday. Still in the middle of said oh-so-quiet gymnasium. GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! So I said, that's it. We're going home.
Sylvia went off to get her stuff, and Riley tried to run away to another booth. I go after Riley, Sylvia comes back, and starts crying again because I'm not still in the exact position I was when she'd left. She now thinks I abandoned her on her birthday.
Halloween has turned me into the Wicked Witch of the West.
I manage to pull it together enough to take a good long look at my just-turned-10-year-old. The cacophony of sounds still around me, it hits me the type of day she's had.
We had awakened early so that Sylvia would have time to open her presents before school. Then there was the excitement of getting dressed up in costume. Then, of course, going to school and seeing everyone else's costumes. Plus, as an Ambassador at KIPP, she had an interview with a local radio station. They ended instruction a couple of hours early to have a Halloween party. Once that was over, it was off to the Boys & Girls Club for their party. And I never had the stomach to ask just how much sugar she'd consumed thus far.
I came down to her level and said, "you're just overwhelmed right now, aren't you? This has been a very big day." She starts crying fresh, stammering "yyyessss" and bawling all over again. I held her as she sobbed and said, "let's get out of here." She nodded, sharing my sensory overload.
Prior to her birth 10 years ago, Halloween had never been a favorite holiday of mine. This year reminded me of all the reasons why.
Once we left the madness of the gymnasium, Sylvia calmed down almost immediately and was quick to tell me I was right about the fish. Thank goodness for small favors!
At the Boys & Girls Club Halloween party, Riley won a fish. I'd squeaked by this once before a few years ago at the school fair. They'd run out of live fish and were giving out coupons to go to the store to redeem for the fish (again, Riley was the winner). I told the girls we couldn't get it because of our cat, and then something shiny caught their attention and the fish was forgotten.
Last week, Riley was handed a fish in a bag. Wonderful.
It's Halloween! I'm supposed to go buy a fish bowl, fish food, figure out where to put this fish sometime between dinner, trick-or-treating and celebrating Sylvia's birthday? And then there was the issue of me being broke. Not happening.
Riley actually took it well, the dear girl. But while I was explaining the myriad of reasons why this fish would be happier somewhere else, Sylvia was trying her luck at the same booth. She comes up to us, crying hysterically that she didn't win, and when she heard Riley had given her fish back, somehow manages to find the strength and tears to cry even harder. On her birthday. In the middle of a gymnasium where the sounds of children shouting, music blasting and the feet pounding echo all around.
Then, today, I read a post in a forum about a woman who was WAY nicer than me and had let her child keep the prized fish. She even went and bought another fish to keep it company. Then that fish died. Now she's trying to figure out whether or not to buy yet another fish.
Why, oh why, do these places insist on giving our children these fish, and torturing us parents with these type of dilemmas?
Riley saw Sylvia crying, and then went off on me for making Sylvia cry on her birthday. Still in the middle of said oh-so-quiet gymnasium. GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! So I said, that's it. We're going home.
Sylvia went off to get her stuff, and Riley tried to run away to another booth. I go after Riley, Sylvia comes back, and starts crying again because I'm not still in the exact position I was when she'd left. She now thinks I abandoned her on her birthday.
Halloween has turned me into the Wicked Witch of the West.
I manage to pull it together enough to take a good long look at my just-turned-10-year-old. The cacophony of sounds still around me, it hits me the type of day she's had.
We had awakened early so that Sylvia would have time to open her presents before school. Then there was the excitement of getting dressed up in costume. Then, of course, going to school and seeing everyone else's costumes. Plus, as an Ambassador at KIPP, she had an interview with a local radio station. They ended instruction a couple of hours early to have a Halloween party. Once that was over, it was off to the Boys & Girls Club for their party. And I never had the stomach to ask just how much sugar she'd consumed thus far.
I came down to her level and said, "you're just overwhelmed right now, aren't you? This has been a very big day." She starts crying fresh, stammering "yyyessss" and bawling all over again. I held her as she sobbed and said, "let's get out of here." She nodded, sharing my sensory overload.
Prior to her birth 10 years ago, Halloween had never been a favorite holiday of mine. This year reminded me of all the reasons why.
Once we left the madness of the gymnasium, Sylvia calmed down almost immediately and was quick to tell me I was right about the fish. Thank goodness for small favors!
Monday, November 5, 2007
For a Few Good Laughs...
I'll add this to My Favorite Sites, but I had to highlight this enjoyable blog.
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