tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post2988302609786999560..comments2023-09-25T07:18:11.130-07:00Comments on It's All About Balance: What IS best for the child?Aprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12051174636017409935noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post-89283304855088286912008-11-01T10:29:00.000-07:002008-11-01T10:29:00.000-07:00Very interesting post. Lately I've been feeling th...Very interesting post. Lately I've been feeling that I cannot do this anymore...these children are driving me fucking batshit crazy and I want to run. Seriously. Even with the transition of going back to work full-time and having them in quality childcare, the whole morning and evening routines - plus the whole 2nd job I have AFTER they go to bed is making me insane.<BR/><BR/>Then I think about Baby Daddy and his twins birth mother. She gave them up for adoption when they were 3 years olds. THREE YEARS OLD. She must have had a lot of problems and I think it's horrendous, but instead of doing something irrational and crazy like blowing the pop stand or drowning her boys, she gave them up. I just don't know how she could give up like that though after three years. I know I never could, but some days I can relate. I just want to take out my savings and leave the country...take up residence in a hut in New Zealand or something, never to be found again.<BR/><BR/>*SIGH* Great post.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07492761626352593047noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post-31357041337376408092008-10-31T08:53:00.000-07:002008-10-31T08:53:00.000-07:00Support for parents is rare and badly neededSupport for parents is rare and badly neededSuziehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13150191994661266181noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post-36774922767576130462008-10-30T18:12:00.000-07:002008-10-30T18:12:00.000-07:00The bottom line is support. I was going to write a...The bottom line is support. I was going to write a post about how my son depends on me for support but alas I realize I don't have much support myself so I'll just ax it. The Nebraska situation highlighted a couple of problems with the foster care system and the vague wording itself. Great post.Shionahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12492147249152256505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post-89502311816099796612008-10-30T11:23:00.000-07:002008-10-30T11:23:00.000-07:00Oh, SWM, I totally understand it, really. I didn't...Oh, SWM, I totally understand it, really. I didn't mean to come across as so judgemental! I meant to say merely that we DO all need to encourage each other to be more honest about our shortcomings, dramas and reservations. Even if it's a super secret blog that no one we would normally see in comments shows up. Because for every mom who says "I don't think I can do this, today," there are at least 5 reading, thinking, "I'm so happy I'm not alone."<BR/><BR/>aside: captcha's word is 'exual' tee hee.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post-5884881483868488532008-10-30T10:50:00.000-07:002008-10-30T10:50:00.000-07:00It would be so nice if there were more support tha...It would be so nice if there were more support that is easily accessible out there for parents!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post-67061069152171054962008-10-30T10:06:00.000-07:002008-10-30T10:06:00.000-07:00One of the biggest things I am all for is support....One of the biggest things I am all for is support. Andrea Yates would not have killed her kids by drowning them in the bathtub had she had some sort of support, some way to connect with other women who would validate that sometimes, even a lot of the time, being a parent sucks. It is hard, it is terrifying, it is overhwelming at time. We want to kill our kids sometimes-and any mom who says she doesn't relate to that comment is lying out her ass. The difference between taking that step and not is support-being able to say out loud that I can't take this for another moment. I am not condoning anyone stepping over the line into abuse or, gasp, murder, but I would also be lying if I said I don't know how it gets to that point-I DO. All of us do. I love this, April, and I love you. And I did not know that SWM had another blog, so am I the only one out of the loop there? :)Korihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17523892197119604721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post-29891315961947614822008-10-30T08:33:00.000-07:002008-10-30T08:33:00.000-07:00After I read your original post, I wanted to write...After I read your original post, I wanted to write one comment, but after I read the comments, I'm on to another. <BR/><BR/>The reason I started SWM, was so I could have moms to identify with my life as a single, not-so-perfect mom with a young child. <BR/><BR/>On my "other" blog, I can't feel I can't do that. Too many people read it. I don't want mass people I don't really know all that well, judging me. Maybe that's my ego and I need to read New Earth, but I'll tell YOU, or my IRL friends, or Liz that my kid got kicked out of daycare for biting. But not on my other blog. On there, I might be perceived as the organic mom with the flat hair and Nars lipgloss. I am most certainly NOT, but you wouldn't know it. Maybe.<BR/><BR/>On SWM, however, I'm myself. Me. I talk about my kid getting kicked out of daycare, my struggles, my triumphs. And I've connected with people like you, Liz, Kori, and PH who make me feel not so alone.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post-29862799196953623792008-10-30T08:27:00.000-07:002008-10-30T08:27:00.000-07:00This is an excellent post for so many reasons. I ...This is an excellent post for so many reasons. I know that things get really hard for me in January and February - in the darkest days of the year. It is that feeling that I just want to stop. What happens if I just stop? Who will keep the ball rolling? I have no answers because I keep going, but it is becoming an annual question that I pose to my daughter's dad. I just need a break. I know that there are parents out there who need that break more than do I. They need to stop. I agree with Jenn - there needs to be a safe place for women and men to take their kids when they need that brake!!The Exceptionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13758654167029552230noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post-66663308572600922342008-10-30T07:12:00.000-07:002008-10-30T07:12:00.000-07:00You know some of the drama I've had with my son's ...You know some of the drama I've had with my son's schooling... I cannot tell you how many times I have locked myself in my room and totally lost it. I have never cried that hard and that long for any other reason that the complete isolation, desperation and frustration I feel when I can't do anything to help him. I can emphasize with parents who feel they are at the end of their options. I am fortunate in that I have a great support in my husband and all of our parents. I'm one of the lucky ones.Tara R.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02993625193184914299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post-11058012621898296942008-10-30T05:17:00.000-07:002008-10-30T05:17:00.000-07:00April, I think one of the main issues is that ther...April, I think one of the main issues is that there IS so much judgment in our society today. People are scared to discuss their fears or bad parenting decisions because they're worried about the DSS coming down on them, etc.<BR/><BR/>Having been in the homeschooling community for six years and seeing the constant harrassment that families faced when they were such good, caring parents doing a far finer job educating their kids than their local school systems were drove me crazy.<BR/><BR/>There are bad parents everywhere. There are excellent parents everywhere. But most are just normal parents, and with the pressures that our children face on a daily basis, we do need loving, non-judgmental resources to turn to.<BR/><BR/>The law in Nebraska has been changed to infants under three days old. But what about six months down the line when the baby is crying and crying and mom has worked a 16-hour shift and has a splitting headache and just can't take it anymore? Where can she go where she's not going to "hurt" her baby? If a parent is at the point of feeling violence, there should be a safe haven. Even for a few hours. And that doesn't mean that's a bad parent - it might just be a parent who has nothing more to give at that very moment.<BR/><BR/>Ugh... sorry... off my soapbox now.Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02362687820368214420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post-38030411263596141962008-10-30T00:30:00.000-07:002008-10-30T00:30:00.000-07:00But here's one thing that is askew about the mommy...But here's one thing that is askew about the mommy blogging: for every one blogger who is writing these truths, about the moments they've cried or thought of running away, or just simply felt like a failure, there's another 10 blogs out there of mommies whose hair is flat and shiny, lipgloss is Nars, children are silent little geniuses and dinner is organic. <BR/><BR/>I know that is entirely judgemental of me to say, but like you did - it goes back to when Huffman's character was hopped up to fit into the cookiecutter. I think most of the mommy blogs are perpetuating the false imagery, not clarifying it.Zoeyjanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03950221418031765810noreply@blogger.com