tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post19653288338660040..comments2023-09-25T07:18:11.130-07:00Comments on It's All About Balance: Another X postAprilhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12051174636017409935noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post-6434790615025805652011-06-16T01:35:43.812-07:002011-06-16T01:35:43.812-07:00Hey - I am certainly glad to discover this. Good j...Hey - I am certainly glad to discover this. Good job!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post-2209866646435119702010-03-25T12:04:03.034-07:002010-03-25T12:04:03.034-07:00Just reading and knowing I have no wise words to a...Just reading and knowing I have no wise words to add...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post-89512650357350806622010-03-24T23:08:01.569-07:002010-03-24T23:08:01.569-07:00I know our situations are a bit different, because...I know our situations are a bit different, because my ex has never been in Shiloh's life - well, not since she was an infant, and even then he was already in jail. But I know how you feel. I could let Shiloh talk to my ex on the phone. I could send pictures or updates. Or take her to visit him in prison. But instead I pretend he doesn't exist. I'm sure someday this will backfire (but legally he has no rights as a father anymore), but I feel it's the only way to protect Shiloh. I feel guilty at times, but I honestly feel that our lives are easier and happier (not just mine, but Shiloh's as well) without her knowing him at all. <br /><br />Again, I know your situation is different because your girls are older and know their dad, but I do understand wishing he would stay away. Sometimes it's just better. Hope things work out for you, no matter what happens. <br /><br />(Sorry for babbling.)jennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16397705917751266966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post-84975304848982311822010-03-24T20:16:52.891-07:002010-03-24T20:16:52.891-07:00I have so much I could say about this post...Lady ...I have so much I could say about this post...Lady H's dad is much the same way except he hasn't been incarcerated long term...YET. It's only a matter of time. <br /><br />Everytime he gets his shit straight he falls back w/ the same old crowd. He's entitled to everything the rest of us have to work for. Having a trust fund from when his dad died of cancer made everything so much worse.<br /><br />Still, I let him be involved w/ Lady H. Because I believe kids need to know where they come from. In time she will make her own judgments, in fact she's already starting to. But at least she's making informed decisions, and nothing spoon-fed by me. Even if you only said glowing praises of the Ex, if you kept them from him, they would put all the blame back on you.<br /><br />We do what we have to, and I would be making the exact same plans w/ the same reservations.<br /><br />I hope for your sake, for the sake of the girls and normalcy, that he remains a long distance father.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post-63980798598661380282010-03-23T17:44:10.870-07:002010-03-23T17:44:10.870-07:00I know exactly how you feel. I hope he follows th...I know exactly how you feel. I hope he follows through, but at the same time he keeps a distance until he proves himself one way or another. <br /><br />My ex is a psychopath- and I'm not throwing the word around. He stays in institutions. But his parents push for his involvement. I would be fine with just their involvement, but I don't see why they want to expose my son to a guy who's either so medicated he falls asleep every 10 minutes or isn't taking his medication and is having violent delusions. And of course they'll pay for his lawyers but not a dime for diapers. I'm a touch bitter.<br /><br />Knowing that the worst mistake I ever made was choosing my child's father will always haunt me.Cathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06960566071671771579noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post-58531439436215987992010-03-23T14:47:08.271-07:002010-03-23T14:47:08.271-07:00I can imagine all of that made you sit up. I'l...I can imagine all of that made you sit up. I'll echo your wish that he has no means to come there. And as for the guilt, understand you feel it but (a) it's not on you that he's toxic, it's on him, and (b) it's not on you that he's toxic. Whether it's from the point of view of wanting to keep him away from your kids or the point of view of how could you let him in the first place...same applies. Hang in there and good wishes.Julie Pipperthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03169574697104642479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post-47588407460842560562010-03-23T13:24:29.294-07:002010-03-23T13:24:29.294-07:00Re: spending money on your therapy - have you look...Re: spending money on your therapy - have you looked into Al-Anon? I try to go every week and it costs about $2 a meeting.<br /><br />Best wishes!Kristinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11835267210183096718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post-47994605504715060042010-03-23T11:55:38.698-07:002010-03-23T11:55:38.698-07:00Don't feel guilty. Lots of women stay with men...Don't feel guilty. Lots of women stay with men their kids would be better off without, lots of women callously throw away their kid's other half because they are selfish assholes. You have done neither. Your situation is just unfortunate. <br /><br />I wish all three of you the best this summer.Pippihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05598890631695015818noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post-60076907328809919092010-03-23T11:37:04.265-07:002010-03-23T11:37:04.265-07:00This is why my I am thankful for my situation. It...This is why my I am thankful for my situation. It is not ideal, but I don't have to worry about this kind of stuff. You do an amazing job at keeping your girls life healthy and normal. They are going to be so thankful to have had you as their mom when they look back!Daniellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06587186690785139860noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post-8928940853766942212010-03-23T08:06:50.580-07:002010-03-23T08:06:50.580-07:00I know this feeling well. And it's true that ...I know this feeling well. And it's true that some men SHOULD NOT be in their children's lives. When it causes them more harm than good it IS NOT in the child's best interests. period. But unfortunately *we* are not allowed to make that call and must put up with endless crap because they share DNA with our children. I know my life, and my children's lives, would be much better and healthier without their fathers - as they ARE. If they were decent human being I would think differently.MindyMomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01103345017455083144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post-34548848150537345792010-03-23T06:43:26.714-07:002010-03-23T06:43:26.714-07:00I really hope that at some point X makes good on h...I really hope that at some point X makes good on his determination/promises to change, especially for the girls.Tara R.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02993625193184914299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211674678201251588.post-19855778921217164342010-03-23T03:29:11.952-07:002010-03-23T03:29:11.952-07:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com